I really think that some journalists hate us bloggers.

I will admit that many have been very cool to us over at Goat Riders, from the always-kind Bruce Miles to the shockingly nice Paul Sullivan. (Shocking because we used to ridicule him unfairly.)

Here's the thing. Bloggers are harmless and fun. We occasionally break big stories. Mostly we just take the editorial page of the newspaper and expand it wide and far across the internet, catapulting opinions as if they were comprised of flaming rock and scatter shot ... they're hot, they're wide-spread, but they are rarely accurate.

Oddly enough, in other parts of the world, bloggers have already achieved a strong level of success. My friend Kevin assures me that it's because those countries are cheap; I just think they happen to be a little more open-minded.

I just think that people feel threatened for stupid reasons, and American journalists act cocky but, at the same time, feel incredibly insecure. They feel that their jobs are in danger, their industry is at risk, and somehow, some way, we are responsible - or, at least, we are a symptom of the problem.

In the same breath, most of us would like to be able to eek - er, eke - a living out of what we do. We'd love to sell advertising, to be read by thousands of people a day, to have some access to our favorite players and organizations, and to be recognized in general. I don't think any of us want to take the jobs of those who get paid to do it full time, and to be honest, I don't think I'd appreciate the confines of "journalism."

I've heard from some journalists that we can't do what they do because we don't have journalism degrees. Thing is, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that all you need to know is how to write a sentence, how to structure a story, and the proper style - all of which you can get without having to sit in stuffy classrooms to learn. We've seen plenty of famous journalists who couldn't write their way out of an acid trip (as opposed to the late, great Hunter S.), and there are plenty of bloggers out there with writing degrees. Hell, at least three of us at GROTA have bachelor's degrees in one field or another, and one of our writers is getting a doctorate. Could we do it professionally? Probably. Do we want to? Nuh uh. We want to blog professionally, and blogging is different.

So why can't we do that, get the slice of credibility we want, and let it go at that?

As a Cubs fan, I'm not sure what's more offensive - Sam Zell selling the naming rights to Wrigley Field in order to pocket a quick buck, or Jim Hendry being considered a good general manager who might have his contract renewed before the end of the year.

Look, I'm just a regular guy who, despite all his protestations, knows as little about baseball as everybody else. But I'll tell you this ... if a major league baseball team gave me $120 million to work with, I could build a winning franchise. And I'm a schmuck! Seriously!

Hendry can't draft, he can't develop, and he can't even trade anymore. All he can do is toss good money after bad.

As for Sam Zell ... fuck 'em. It's one thing to sell naming rights and invest it back in the team, but Zell just wants to pocket more cash before he sells the team for even more cash.

Mark DeRosa has been released ... from the hospital

I guess you can't really blame Mark DeRosa. I mean, if I played for a roller-coaster of a team like the Cubs, I might have heart problems, too. Christ knows that I've had enough panic attacks while just being a fan.

It's already looking to be a normal year for the Cubs, which is a weird year for any and everybody else. Their red-headed ex closer predicted a World Series win. Their starting second baseman did his best Chris Farley impersonation and beat off a grabber. (Heh. I said "beat off.") A young reliever of theirs has been apparently mugged, although I am more inclined to believe that he got into a fight and is now trying to cover his immature ass.

One has to ask ... what's next? Will Kerry Wood's rotator cuff detach from his shoulder? Will Derrek Lee lose six inches of height? Perhaps Aramis Ramirez will get into a cock fight with his teammates, only to realize that he left the roosters back home in the Dominican?

It's a rare year when things aren't circus-like on the north side. Let's keep our fingers crossed that these are the end of the incidents, not the beginning.

Photochoppin' Fun

Over the course of my career as a blogger, I've made a lot of photoshops. From time to time, I will be reposting them all here, pretty much in the order of their creation.

Enjoy:

Sam Fuld? Really?

When he's not busy spending his time perched on a window sill while buddying up to walking, talking puppets who want to someday become a real boy, Sam Fuld is apparently in strong competition to win the center field spot for the Cubs.

Personally, I think that Lou Piniella just wants him on the team so our team's manager will have a head he can rest his beer on top of while seated in the dugout. Don't get me wrong, I like Fuld. I like his hustle, I like his heart, I like his grit, but what I don't like is his total lack of major league talent.

Okay, maybe I'm being harsh. Maybe Sam Fuld can and will be able to hit major league hitting. Maybe he'll take the growth and sprout up to a full 5'6", but probably not. While he may hit for a higher batting average than the young and erratic Felix Pie, Sam Fuld just doesn't seem to have the physical ability necessary to be a productive offensive hitter at the major league level, and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that his best possible offensive line is probably .275 AVG, 25 doubles, 5 triples, 5 homers, 50 RBI, and a .330 OBP.

On an offensively solid team, that's fine. The Cubs could get away with letting Fuld start. But the potential of Felix Pie is bigger, and, let's be honest, if the Cubs can get away with letting Fuld start in center, then they can also get away with letting Pie flounder out there.

Mark Prior can eat a bag full of dicks for all I care.

Maybe I'm reacting selfishly, but I always feel a little bit of fury when I think back on Prior's career with the Cubs. I will grant that he was absolutely abused on the mound by Dusty Baker and his crappy cronies. I will acknowledge that he was disrespected in the media by the team, journos, and fans, who slowly began to believe that Prior was a headcase. I will acknowledge that he has reason to want out of Chicago ... but I can't get over his refusal to play in a city that would have paid him more, and I can't forgive that he didn't seem to feel he owed Chicago anything for the millions of dollars spent on his free ride these past few seasons.

Meanwhile, as Prior chomps on his cock-bag, Kerry Wood has stepped up and said, flat out, "I'm in Chicago because I love it here and I owe it to the fans."

Folks, that's why Kerry Wood will be remembered fondly forever, while Prior's career will be an abortion in our memories. Prior is a douche and a failure.

I'll be honest with you ... I fully support him having a comeback year. I truly hope that he is a Cy Young Candidate. And I'm looking forward to watching him suck yet again in the playoffs.

Fuck Mark Prior.

Will this blog ever be a regular again?

Meh, probably not.

However, while I love posting at GROTA, I think that this blog will be an excellent venue for venting from time to time ... particularly when I want to fuckin' curse up a goddamn storm, bitches.

With Spring Training having begun, I will likely start doing some photoshops/posting Spring Training photos. I may even be inspired to make a few R-Rated rants that are too dirty for Goat Riders.

So, enjoy the blog, go nuts, and go Cubs.