IRON CUB BLOGGER

It's a cold Monday morning here in Toronto, but I've still got Spring on my mind because of the Cubs. There were a few interesting articles in the last few days over at the official Cubs sites, including a good piece about Carlos Zambrano, who is quickly becoming one of the most popular Cubs due to his colorful nature. According to the article, Carlos probably would've been a truck driver had he not pitched, but as a pitcher, he's now viewed almost a a deity in his native country of Venezuela. There's also a good article about Aramis Ramirez, who the Cubs desperately need to re-sign before the 2005 campaign gets underway. Paul Sullivan calls Ramirez one of the most essential players on the roster this year, and also one of the most improved since he came to Chicago in 2003.

Over at the Sun-Times, hitting coach Gene Clines is willing to guarantee that Corey Patterson will be a vastly improved hitter in 2005. This wouldn't surprise me too much. The jury's still out on whether or not Corey will be a long-term center fielder in Chicago, but he's just entering his prime and should put up good numbers for at least four or five years. And for the second straight year,
there's talk in camp about the team having four or five 15 game winners on the roster in Wood, Zambrano, Prior, Maddux, and Rusch/whoever. I'm more interested in the team having three 20 game winners in Wood, Zambrano, and Prior, but let's hold off on the overly-optimistic slant for now.

Now then, about the Iron Cub Blogger...

I'm really interested in doing this, but I've decided that it would be best for the three judges to be non-affiliated with any of the Cubs blogs, for two reasons. First, I think it'd be pretty difficult to be at least somewhat unbiased toward a few select sites, and second, if I were a judge I would feel a little nervous about saying anything critical because the Cubs bloggers probably comprise of half my audience and I don't want to piss anyone off.

That said, I've begun approaching a few outsiders. I've already contacted one popular former blogger of a rival team, but he declined due to a hectic schedule. At the moment, I'm waiting on two additional non-Cub-fans to get back to me, but I'm still looking for a third judge. If anyone has any suggestions, drop me a line and we'll try to get it underway.

Also, I'm leaning toward posting the results over at Goat Riders of the Apocalypse. The way we'll probably do it is just go through and rate all the blogs, and the top three or four winners will receive an "Iron Cubs Blogger 2005" graphic created by myself, which they can add to their webpage at their leisure.

I'll keep you folks updated as the contest draws near.

LINKS UPDATED - FINALLY

One of the major flaws of this blog is that I rarely update my links. Then again, doing the links thing is more of an ego-fest anyway, because if you are really interested in seeing all the Cubs blogs that exist, you'd go to The Cub Blog Army rather than through my site. But the reason this is a big ego-fest is because we all want to know that the other bloggers are reading our site and having us linked. In case you are one of those insecure bloggers who feel curious... the blogs that are listed as my "favorites," those I visit probably twice a day, but I still visit pretty much every site I have linked at least three or four times a week.

As for my own ego... well, I really have no idea who reads this blog. I know I've had around 10,000 hits since I added a counter about six months ago, and that's pretty cool, but in my mind I still feel like I'm talking to myself. But it does feel nice when I do find out that someone I know/respect checks out my site on a daily basis. So, if I don't know you check my site out, you should uh, let me know or something. Especially if you're pseudo-famous.

Anyway, I also added about 10 additional "official" team links, just in case you're afraid you're missing a nugget of information somewhere.

Oh, and I'm not sure if I'll have the time to do this, but I'm pretty tempted to do a review of the various Cub blogs and post the ratings here. Or maybe I'll do a panel thing with Byron and Rob, and perhaps we'll post the results over at Goatriders.org. Fellow bloggers, let me know how you'd feel about that.

P.S. There's nothing wrong with having a little bit of an ego

I guess I just can't help myself...



You're looking at the Surreal Gourmet, which is a cooking show on the Food Network in Canada. The reason I'm posting the pic is because on today's episode, Bob Blumer (the Gourmet) is cooking some non-traditional baseball treats with Cubs legend Fergie Jenkins. I wish I had a pic, but suffice to say, Fergie is wearing his Cubs jersey (rather than his cowboy hat) and is proving to be a very humble and modest guy.

As my girlfriend says, Fergie is WAY too Canadian.... Bob will be touting his accomplishments, and Jenkins will say "yeah, but Roger Clemens did this," or whatever. Also, Fergie's father was a chef for 60 years, which isn't something I knew. Maybe next year if I get to go to the Convention again, I'll mention his appearance on the Surreal Gourmet... it's almost tormenting because I'm so desperate for some baseball!

MORE SPRING TRAINING PICS, AND THE HOTTEST TICKET IN BASEBALL

A hearty congratulations to the Cubs fans out there who were able to secure tickets in yesterday's rush. If you read the message boards, you'll mostly come across stories of frustration and woe, so, I feel pretty lucky that I got through twice.

In the meantime, it's now the weekend, which means that bloggers take a couple of days off and leave you to the "official" sources for Cubs news and information. But here at the Cub Fan Nation, we like to give you something to at least look at until Monday morning rolls around, and so, here are a second batch of Spring Training pictures!



Here we see Jim Hendry and Dusty Baker, hopefully discussing winning strategies that will put the Cubs in the World Series for the first time since 1945! Go get 'em, fellas!



Burnitz and Barrett chatting away at the batting cage. Actually, "Burnitz and Barrett" sort of has a nice ring. Perhaps these two will be batting back-to-back this season, and we'll be able to get used to saying it a lot.



Apparently Todd Walker and Nomar Garciaparra don't get along as well as we've been lead to believe. In this picture, it looks as though Nomar is one double pump away from putting the baseball into Walker's 'nads or something.



What you don't see in this pic is the throng of screaming fans just waiting to mob them. These Cubs may not be bigger than the Beatles, but they sure are bigger than Jesus!

And that's all until Monday! Have a great weekend, Cubs fans, and I hope you got your tickets! And, remember: I'll be in Wrigley on June 8th and June 10th.... if you're in the neighborhood, drop me a line and we can do lunch or something!

UPDATE: I just couldn't ignore using this final Spring Training pic for the day. Doesn't Kerry look like a bit of a raving lunatic here?

At this point, that pic of Kerry is the running favorite to replace Sammy in the right-hand corner of my blog.

I ALMOST WISH I WAS A JAYS FAN

For a sake of comparrison, I'm pretty sure that the very cheapest Cubs season tickets easily go for over a thousand dollars. But in Toronto, where I now live, you can get season tickets to the Blue Jays for a whopping $162 dollars Canadian.

No, seriously.

For $162 Canadian, you can attend 81 games of major league baseball. Ok, ok, so you'd have to sit in the 500 level, which are the nosebleeds. But you know, I've sat in the nosebleeds before at the former SkyDome, and quite frankly, they don't much care if you move around and sit at a lower level, unless it's a packed house.

I'm not a huge fan of the AL. I feel no particular love for the Blue Jays. But the purist baseball fan within me is screaming at me because I'm not going to buy these tickets. I mean, what a sweet deal!

GOING TO CHICAGO TOWN

Ordering Cubs tickets is a pretty hard thing to do. The phone lines are constantly busy and the internet waiting room seems like a gigantic waste of time. Yet to my astonishment, Carolyn and I were successful in landing tickets to two games this season... June 8th against the Blue Jays (for which we have bleacher seats), and June 10th against the Boston Red Sox.

Initially, I wanted tickets to two Red Sox games, but that was obviously fantasy, seing as how that is probably the hottest series of the season. I suspect it'll be very similar to the Cubs/Yankees series of 2003, which had a playoff-like atmosphere. However, I'm more than willing to compromise, and only catch one game against Boston.

The surprising thing is that we got both our orders from the internet waiting room, but not the phone. Generally I would've expected the opposite.

So, if you're in Chicago on June 8th-June 10th and want to get together, you should EMail me to let me know. I'm hoping to spend the game against the Jays with Cub fanatic Al Yellon, but we'll see how that plays out.

One more line of thought: the Cubs have competed in three of the four years that I've attended games at Wrigley Field, and they've made the post season in two of those years. Not that it matters, but I hope I can keep the streak alive!

SAMMY SOSAD

Sammy's finally landed in the Orioles Spring Training camp, and many Cubs fans are wondering, what's he going to say about our team? Well, wonder no more! Today, I'm going to gauge the accuracy of Sammy's Spring Training quotes.

Sosa took exception to anyone's notion that the Cubs are better off without him.

"I understand that they say they don't need me. They lie," he said. "Because, I understand that they want to move forward. I can understand that. But I don't think anybody can replace me. They can say whatever they want to say, but it's going to be hard to duplicate me."

I agree. The Cubs would probably have to search far and wide to find another ballplayer as arrogant as Sosa. They'd probably have considerable problems finding a player with the ability to duplicate Sosa's unwillingness to turn down the boombox, or his disregard of hitting situations. I doubt there are many other players out there who'd be so reluctant to shorten their swing if it meant hitting a one or two-run single. So, Sosa's right. Score one for Sammy.

As much as Sosa spoke of wanting to look forward, rather than back, his bitterness over his departure was clear.

"What about the good things that I did? What about the beautiful things, all the 13 years that I stood there and people were happy?" Sosa asked a small group of reporters. "Everything was perfect."

Again, Sammy makes a few good points here. Sammy did make the fans happy during his career as a Cub. Sammy's disregard for his coach's instructions in order to inflate his numbers was a joy to watch for quite a number of years, there. And as for the good things he did... well, I especially enjoyed how he once pledged to donate something like $1,000 per home run hit to the school system of the Dominican Republic to help them buy computers for students. ...except that was the year he hit 66 homeruns, and he later reneged on the deal. Ok, so this time he was only about half accurate.

During his stay in Chicago, Sosa battled with Mark McGwire in a memorable home run duel in 1998, went to the All-Star game seven times and was the 1998 NL MVP. But he contends that the corked bat and his early departure from the ballpark ruined an otherwise wonderful relationship.

"For the 13 years I was in Chicago, I only made two mistakes. That's pretty good," he said. "If I had known that leaving early last year would have caused such a controversy, I would have never done it. My manager told me I had a day off. But what can I say?"

Hmm. Where to start. First, Sammy only made two mistakes? He never ignored Jim Riggleman's play calling during a late season game in '97, so Sammy could steal bases in order to try to reach the 30-30 club again? He never alienated his clubhouse by blaring the boombox in spite of his teammates' obvious disapproval? And Sammy says he wouldn't have left if he knew it would piss people off, right? But he didn't say he wouldn't have left if he realized it was wrong! Because, you know, it was wrong for him to leave early. He was the team captain. So, Sammy's pretty much dead wrong in this quote.

I have to admit it pisses me off. I wish I was a journalist, because I would've flown down to the Orioles camp, and my first question to Sammy would've been, "do you know what the word 'inference' means?"

There's a reason Sammy's picture adorns my blog. But he won't be there for long... pretty soon I'm going to start displaying actual Cubs. But until then, let it ring clear and true: So long, sucker!

(Unrelated note: I find it amusing that the blogger spellcheck considers the words "blog" and "blogger" to be typos. I'm just saying.)

LINE 'EM UP

I posted this on the Desipio board, but I wanted to share it here, too.

When looking at the potential 2005 lineup, speed leads... at least in theory. You want your fastest players with the best plate discipline at the top of the lineup. I know some might disagree, but I have a feeling that Corey is going to improve this year and be valuable at the top of the lineup. Hey, look at it like this: In 2002, Corey walked once every 31 at bats. In 2003, it was one walk every 21.9 at bats. Last year, it was one walk every 14 at bats. If baseball was actually a mathematical sport, then Corey's line of improvement would suggest that he'll draw a walk every 7 at bats... which would be 90+ walks over the regular season!

Ok, ok, so that's never going to happen. But I think it's possible for Corey to walk 60 times or more next year, and if he can match his career high batting average (something that's very possible for a young player like him), then he might have an OBP in the .360ish range, which is pretty respectable for a guy at the top of the order.

In fact, if I was making the lineup I'd probably go with the following:

LF Hairston
CF Patterson
1B Lee
SS Garciaparra
3B Ramirez
2B Walker
RF Burnitz
C Barrett

Dusty won't see it this way, but you have to want your speed guys with the best OBP at the top of the lineup. I can't believe Derrek Lee spent so much time in the #6th spot when he can walk 70-100 times a year and steal 10-20 bases while also being capable of hitting doubles and home runs. Hairston is another guy who, when healthy, will walk 70 times, steal 20-30 bases, hit 30-40 doubles, and better yet, he won't strike out a whole lot. The ability to put the ball in play may also be a reason you want Nomar and Aramis batting 4th and 5th... Nomar doesn't walk a lot, but he's never struck out more than 63 times in a season, plus he hits a ton of doubles and can also steal bases when his legs are healthy. And Aramis is another guy who's only going to strike out perhaps 60 times and hit 30-40 doubles, along with all the home runs. If the Cubs could get Derrek and Corey to cut down on strikeouts, the 1-5 hitters would be explosive.

Then, all Walker, Burnitz, and Barrett would have to do is figure out how to score about on average a run and a half between them every game, and the Cubs could possibly become one of the toughest offenses in the NL. In other words, if I were the manager/hitting coach, this year's goals would be walks and doubles. If the Cubs lead the NL in doubles in 2005, they'll be in good shape.

JAVY vs. WOOD

According to reports, Arizona Diamond-backs will be starting Javier Vazquez on opening day against Kerry Wood and the Chicago Cubs. You heard it here probably second or third!

This is a huge disappointment to Cubs fans everywhere. D-Backs manager Bob Melvin had alluded to the possibility of Shawn Estes being his opening day starter, but alas! We're stuck with the Cubs facing an actually decent pitcher.

Last year for the Yankees, Vazquez went 14-10 with 150 k's in 198 innings pitched, with a 4.91 ERA. This is a drastic decline from his '03 season, when he went 13-12 with the Expos while striking out 241 in 230.2 innings, with an ERA of 3.24.

In his career versus the Cubs, Javy has a 3-2 record in 9 starts, with an ERA of 4.09. Eh. At least I get a sense that the Cubs have a shot at winning opening day. Vazquez isn't really something special, at least not anymore.

IT'S A MYSTERY

First: I'm buying a 2005 Cubs jersey (which I think look great, btw!) I'm debating on whose jersey I want. I already have one belonging to Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Andre Dawson. I'm looking specifically at these three jerseys:




Any suggestions on whose jersey I should add to my collection?



Second: I wonder if anyone is really aware of the cluster-fark at a few key positions. First in the outfield. Corey Patterson is bound to start, as is Jeromy Burnitz (unfortunate). But in left, there are three players competing to start: Todd Hollandsworth, Jason Dubois, and Jerry Hairston Jr.

As it looks right now, Hollandsworth will get the bulk of playing time out there. Dubois might make the bench if he's lucky. (Which would piss me off. At this point I want Dubois or Hairston to start.) And Hairston is going to become this year's Super-Sub: the guy who plays two infield positions and all outfield ones, and as a consequence probably winds up starting more than 100 games in the season, where he'd probably usually lead off in a game.

Then, we look at the bullpen. At the moment, these players are pretty much guaranteed to be there on opening day: Mike Remlinger, LaTroy Hawkins, and Ryan Dempster. If his velocity is back, Joe Borowski should be there in some capacity. Otherwise, the two remaining spots in the bullpen will be fought over by lefties Stephen Randolph and Will Ohman, along with righties Jon Leicester (26 years old, 3.89 ERA in 41.2 IP last season), Roberto Novoa (25 years old, 5.57 ERA in 21 IP), Todd Wellemeyer, (26 years old, 5.92 ERA in 24.1 IP), and Michael Wuertz (26 years old, 4.34 ERA in 29 IP, 0.77 ERA in 11 games after the All Star Break). An additional note about Wuertz: he was the closer in Iowa and probably wouldn't be a bad option to at least try out for closer at the major league level.

I wouldn't be surprised if Randolph or Ohman made the team, at which point we're left with a plethora of potentially decent relievers for the last spot. Who knows how they'd work out, but it would be great if the bullpen actually proved to have a lot of depth in 2005.

And I really hope that Borowski is back, and as the closer he was in 2003.

SPRING IS IN THE AIR

Say hello to what I woke up to this morning. It snowed 14 inches here in Toronto since I went to bed at 11 last night. Ouch.

Yet in a different time zone (and climate), Spring Training is occurring, the bastards. In case you've never seen this, here's a link to the Cubs Spring Training website.

Todd Walker is trying to ascend into a leadership role this Spring. I wish him the best of luck, and I suppose he could be the kind of guy the team rallies around. This is a team that desperately needs a leader. There have been message boards dedicated to the subject all winter, asking "who's the new captain?" In my opinion, the Cubs never really had an old one.

But I think the whole leader thing is overhyped. First of all, I think you need guys who are real professionals. For example, to this day Shawon Dunston and Mark Grace would probably tell you that Andre Dawson was a real pro. He showed up every day, he worked hard, and he was admired by his teammates for his work ethic. I think that if he stays healthy, the Cubs will have that from Nomar Garciaparra. Second, I think you need players who keep the clubhouse loose. Guys who keep the players laughing. I'm not entirely sure a current Cub fits this description, but I don't think it matters. Then you need the players who bring some fire to the team. Kerry Wood fits this description, but he only plays every five days. Again, I don't know if the Cubs have an every day hitter who fits this description, but not having a big clubhouse distraction like Sammy should help the team. But Dusty does need to teach the players accountability. Last year it seems like he gave the team the luxury of whining. They complained about the umpires, the other teams, the fans, the media, the broadcast booth.... Well, maybe this year they should just play the damned game and let their bats do all the talking.

Todd Walker says the atmosphere in the clubhouse is already better without Sammy. Yet, I'm left to wonder how things are different without the smell of urine always being in the air. I'll bet money that over in San Fran, before the All-Star break, Barry Bonds will have pummeled Moises Alou with a baseball bat, if only because of the stench of urine.

Mark Prior admits that he needs to get comfortable pitching to Michael Barrett. To develop a better relationship, our two favorite God-Squaders will be going door to door to promote Mormonism in Arizona. Good luck, fellas.

Ron Santo keeps a low profile while waiting to hear from the Hall of Fame. Poor Ronnie. You know, maybe it's time that we Cub fans organize a letter writing campaign to the Veteran's Committee. Santo clearly deserves to be in, but no one is going to vote for him for a plethora of reasons. But it's just wrong, and we aught to say so. Often.

Phil Rogers wants to let you know that Chad Fox could help the Cubs reach the World Series. With whose arm, Phil, yours?

Harry Caray's restaurant plans on feeding the Bartman ball to its patrons. Huh? What's that? The earth's rotation around the sun is being altered in some way? Oh, it must be Harry Caray spinning in his grave because these morons just won't let it die!!! Let it die, boys. Let it die.

LOOKING GOOD

Just a few random Spring Training shots for you to get you through the rest of the weekend...



Two things to notice in this picture. #1: What the hell is up with Wood and the long stockings? And #2: Notice Greg Maddux, huffing along, trying to keep up with the young dogs? But wait, it's not as difficult as it seems! As Forklift pointed out, Maddux is running on the grass, and is probably cutting the hell out of the corners. And that, boys and girls, is a perfect example of why we call him crafty!



LaTroy looks in shape and ready to go. Todd Wellemeyer, on the other hand, looks like he's about to take a dump on the concrete.



Behold the rejuvenated Joe Borowski. Usually when you hear that a guy comes to camp 20 pounds lighter, you think he was a steroid abuser who has quit the juice. Well, if Joe was ever a steroid user, then he didn't use them in the conventional way. Perhaps he used them to change the channel on TV, or maybe he used them to somehow hold up his foot-long sub or something. Either way, he looks great and I hear that his velocity is back.

GET YOUR RED-HOT CUBS TICKETS HERE

It used to be that it wasn't too expensive to get tickets to a Cubs game. Well, that's changed. The Cubs are the second-most expensive team in baseball these days, and for a good reason. Because they can! In 2005 the team has a whopping 6 value dates. For the uneducated, a value date is a game in which ticket prices are discounted. This year, there are four of those dates in April and two in May.

There are also 35 "regular" dates. Those are games in which ticket prices are fair but not too expensive. On these "regular" dates, the Cubs play teams like the Brewers, Pirates, Reds, Mets, Astros, Rockies, and Blue Jays.

And then there are the 40 prime dates. For the prime dates, ticket prices range from being $3 more to being $125.00 more. So if you want to catch the Cubs play a good team, like the Cardinals, Red Sox, or Braves, then you're going to have to shell out extra money.

This is a pain in the ass, but it's also the world we live in. Carolyn and I are planning on getting tickets, possibly to the Red Sox series. But the tickets are so expensive I now wonder if it'll be worth it.

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

IT'S JUST WRONG



Say hello to the latest bastardization of my childhood. Is nothing sacred? What's next, a Manganized Batman with a really hideous Joker?

...oh no, wait. Too late. Bastards.

KURT'S FEARLESS (AND POINTLESS) PREDICTIONS PART V: THE NL CENTRAL

According to an article from Cubs dot Com, Joe Borowski has reported to spring feeling "100% better." Yeah, and my ass shoots fire. That isn't to say that Borowski might be telling the truth - maybe he really is back to his old self. That'd be great news for the team. But at this stage in my life, I won't even believe it if I think I see it. Anyway, on to the predictions:

FIRST PLACE, AND DON'T HATE ME FOR SAYING IT: St. Louis Cardinals

Ok, so they lost a lot in the off season. They lost one of the game's best shortstops (Edgar), they lost a surprisingly good second baseman who I believe the Cubs and Red Sox could've had (Womack), they lost one of their veteran starters, and their "ace" had surgery in the off-season that might wreck his entire year. However (you knew there'd be a however), they brought in some suitable replacements. Grudz and Eckstein will now fill the middle infield. (To be honest, I'd love to see Eck and Bo Hart do that job, just because they're both shorties who can't really play the game.) But more important for the team, they acquired Athletic's Ace Mark Mulder. Ok, ok, so the guy has what might be a hip and shoulder problem. Ok, so his ERA was almost THREE RUNS higher in the second half of the season last year. But you know what? The Cardinals also have the best heart-of-the-order in baseball in Poo-holes, Edmonds, and Rolen. So, while I'd be shocked - shocked, I say - if the Cardinals advanced anywhere in the post season, they are my pick to take the NL Central. Woe to us Cubs fans.

I'D RATHER BE RED THAN IN SECOND PLACE: Cincinnati Reds

Shocker here, huh? I guess a lot of this depends on whether or not Ken Griffey can stay healthy for a change. But the Reds are quite possibly on the verge of breaking back into contention, and will probably be giving the Cubs fits for the next half decade. Cincy has a strong, young offense in Austen Kearns (age 24), Wily Mo Pena (age 23), Adam Dunn (age 25), and Sean Casey is still in the prime of his career. The only real question is how their pitching will do, as they might have to rely on unproven youngsters such as 26-year-old Aaron Harang, 25-year-old Brandon Claussen, and 24-year-old Jung Bong. Heh. "Jung Bong." That's funny. In other words, if Dusty was the manager of the Reds his head would probably explode. Too much young talent. If Cincy doesn't put it together this year, then look out in 2006. One way or the other, they won't be in the bottom half of the division for much longer.

UH, HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM: Third Place: Houston Astros

Huh? Third place? Ahead of the Cubs? With some of their best pitching already out before the start of Spring Training? With Lance Berkman on the DL until May at the earliest? With their best talent long gone? Am I smoking something? If those questions represent your line of thinking, permit me to say only this: just hold on there, sparky. I'm not predicting that Houston will make the playoffs. Far from it, they'll be lucky to win more than they lose. Their team is old and ugly. Trenidad Hubbard may very well be their opening day Center Fielder. Roger Clemens might be back, but he's old and expensive. Sooner or later time will catch up with that mercenary. Andy Pettitte has a bad arm and might be done for. Biggio and Bagwell are old. One way or the other, the Astros are done competing. Clemens will probably be out of town by the end of June. And yet, they will finish ahead of the Cubs.

AT LONG LAST, THE FOURTH PLACE CHICAGO CUBS:

Sure, the Cubs have the best pitching in the National League. Maybe even in all of baseball. But this team is Cursed, boys and girls. Get used to it. Prior may be healthy (he better be!). Wood could be healthy, although Will Carroll lists him as a red light injury risk. But Zambrano is going to spend time on the DL. Trust me on this. Maddux is losing the ability to pitch and will probably be tagged with a mid 4's ERA. Let's also not forget that the Cubs lost more than 70 homeruns and around 180 RBIs worth of production. The offensive "upgrade?" Jeromy Burnitz. The bullpen upgrade? -Kyle Farnsworth. Yes, MINUS Kyle Farnsworth is the bullpen upgrade. Did the Cubs get a leadoff hitter, or a closer this off season? Doesn't look like it. Hairston could possibly leadoff, but all signs point to him spending a lot of time on the bench.

Don't get me wrong. I like this team a lot more than I liked last year's. Last year's team was full of assholes and degenerates. All those guys are gone, and I should enjoy watching the Cubs a lot more this year. Last year's team was plagued with injuries and more injuries. Hopefully those guys will be healthy. And yes, it is absolutely conceivable that the Cubs will win the division and eventually, the NL Pennant. But will it happen? I dunno, did I already use the "when fire shoots out of my ass" line? Oh wait, I did. Never mind.

(Not to detract from my spiel against the Cubs, but historically every year I've predicted them to finish over .500, they've flopped badly. And when I don't expect good things to happen, they usually have. But as far as I'm concerned, until the Cubs add a Dotel, or a Baez and a Huff, to the current mix, then they're doomed to suffer 3-2 losses all year long. Wait 'til next year.)

BASEMENT DWELLERS: Milwaukee Brewers and Pittsburgh Pirates

I feel sorry for these guys. They've actually showed potential before. But if baseball teaches us anything, it's that you can't sit on your laurels. So, while the Brewers have their young talent, and the Pirates have theirs, until a rule comes along where the two teams can combine, they're doomed to finish at the bottom of the division. But much as the Cardinals and Astros owned the late 90's in the Central Division, I really wouldn't be surprised to someday see the tables turn. There are young, talented players on the Brewers and Pirates, much as there are good young players on the Reds. 2006 might make all the difference in the NL Central.

But it's not 2006 yet.

Tomorrow, we take a look at the NL West. Hurrah!

KURT'S FEARLESS (AND POINTLESS) PREDICTIONS PART IV: THE NL EAST

FIRST PLACE 'TIL THEY DIE Atlanta Braves

Their rotation will consist of one pitcher whose ERA was almost a run and a half higher in the second half of last season (Hudson), a 32-year-old lefty who averaged less than 6 innings pitched a start (Hampton), a 25-year-old with 38 career starts (but a career ERA of 3.60) (Horacio Ramirez), a 37-year-old whose arm was too messed up for him to start, so they converted him to closer, but now they've brought him back as though his arm was suddenly healthy enough to throw 200 innings in a season (Smoltz), and Christ knows who else? Yet in spite of the weakest Braves rotation in more than a decade, they're still my pick. And, by default, they are my pick to be eliminated in the first round of the NLDS again.

I WISH THEY SUCKED: Florida Marlins

Say hello to team that will either blast past the Braves for the NL East title or win the Wild Card again. You know, it feels kind of weird to hate an expansion team. It's like you're a senior in college and you are somehow jealous of the high school freshman. Regardless, the Marlins have a good, young rotation similar to the Cubs, and their hitters can be considerably more pesky and dangerous. However, they made a few moves that will probably backfire on them. First, they brought in Antonio Alfonseca. Didn't they learn from the first time around? Second, Al Leiter is on his way out of baseball. His numbers were much better last year than they should've been. And third, well, I hate them so I don't really need a third reason. But they're still a dangerous team who could win big in 2005.

THEY DON'T STINK QUITE AS BAD AS THE CITY THEY PLAY IN: Philadelphia Phillies

The Phillies are the White Sox of the NL. They've got enough talent to win, but not quite enough talent to progress to the post season. Now that Larry Bowa is gone, the team has run out of excuses and I wouldn't be shocked if their ownership didn't firesale their asses out of town if they fail to advance yet again. Their biggest move this off season is bringing back Jon Lieber to Pennsylvania, and also bringing back Terry Adams. Not great, right? Yet the Phillies still have the ability to win more than they lose... just not by much.

MONEY CAN'T BUY THEM LOVE (OR CHAMPIONSHIPS) New York Mets

Taking a page from Detroit, the Mets decided that the best way to win was to throw lots of money at players who simply don't deserve it. Of course, this is nothing new for the Mets. They've been perfecting this method since the early 90's, when they spent absurd amounts of money on Bobby Bonilla, Eddie Murray, and Bret Saberhagan. (The team led by that trio went on to lose more than 100 games in 93, by the way). But hey, in spite of his greed and arrogance, I like Pedro. I wish him the best. I also wish Beltran would break his leg, or something, since he picked New York over Chicago.

FROM WORST TO... WELL, WORST Washington Nationals

I like the new uniforms. Well, that's about as good as my compliments for the Nationals will get. They're still a team in limbo, without an owner, and for that reason they weren't able to really spend any money and improve during the off season. They did bring in Esteban Loaiza and Antonio Osuna, and they might not lose 100 games, but what I really want to know is, why can't they be in our division? No wonder the Braves always win 90 games, they play these guys 18 times a year! *sigh*

Anyway, tomorrow I take a look at the NL Central! Woo! Break out the beer! (Hint: when you see what I have to say about the Cubs, you'll want to either drink yourself stupid or break the bottle and use it as a weapon against me. So uh, on second thought, plastic bottles only.)

KURT'S FEARLESS (AND POINTLESS) PREDICTIONS PART III: THE AL WEST

Ah, Spring. Just think: today it's cold, there's snow on the ground, flurries are expected a little later, and there's so much ice on the sidewalk that people old and young are breaking their hips wherever they go. But tomorrow will be a different story. In just one day, three hours, and 25 or so minutes, the sun will peak out from behind the gray clouds, the ice will melt away, the snow will thaw, and children will burst out into the streets wearing their favorite shorts and t-shirts. Ah yes, Spring is in the air. (note: I am well aware that Spring Training isn't the real mark of Spring. I know that tomorrow will be cold and bitter. But please - please! - placate me.

Today we're going to have a look at that fabled four-team division, the American League West. Anything can happen in the AL West, as long as you're the Angels or Athletics. Here's how it'll look in 2005:

FIRST PLACE! Oakland Athletics

Well, maybe not. Billy Beane is a master of change. Or, in other words, if his team misses the playoffs by a game, he feels the need to completely eliminate his stellar pitching staff by dealing away two of his aces. That was probably a bit of an overreached, but hey - until they start winning only 70 games in a season, the Athletics will be my AL West favorite. They did make a few other big moves, such as acquiring Jason Kendall, Juan Cruz, and Keith Ginter.

Actually it'd probably be seen as a minor miracle if the Athletics actually finish first in 2005. But as Billy Beane might say, "what's new?"

FIRST PLACE! LA Angels of Anaheim

So, they lost Troy Glaus, but they signed 40-something Steve Findley, and also Esteban Yan, Paul Byrd, and Orlando Cabrera. Let's not forget that Anaheim has ace pitcher Bartolo Colon, he of the 18 wins and 5.01 ERA last year. This is the team that snuck into the playoffs last year at the last possible minute, and then found themselves easily eliminated by the Boston Red Sox. I suppose their biggest problem is that they lack a true ace, but they do have a handful of #2 and #3 guys, so they should at least get to the post season, if they can topple the A's again.

BEST TEAM TO WIN LAST YEAR WITHOUT PITCHING Texas Rangers

Those Rangers! After years of mediocrity, they dumped their highest paid superstar and went on to win 89 games last year! (Now, I have to ask: how can the Cubs, who have some of the best pitching in baseball, win exactly the same number of games as the Rangers, who have some of the worst pitching in baseball!? Fuckin' mystery!) They signed Richard Hidalgo, who just loves Texas, and their big pitching signing of the year was... Pedro Astacio? Huh? But let's not forget that their best pitcher has apparently threatened retirement if he doesn't get a raise. Yep, I've got a good feeling about Texas.

BEST TEAM TO SUCK BADLY, AGAIN Seattle Mariners

When your ace pitcher is a 42-year-old who allowed more homeruns than his age last year, you know you're in trouble. Old Father Time caught up with Seattle in a big way in 2004, but he's not done giving an ass-whuppin' just yet. Although the team got younger with Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre, I have a feeling that the pitching will continue to be brutal. The Mariners could be a lot better, but they're not about to win 114 games.

Tomorrow, we take a look at the NL East.

KURT'S FEARLESS (AND POINTLESS) PREDICTIONS PART II: THE AL CENTRAL

Today we're going to have a look at the most dysfunctional league in all of baseball. At any given year, any team in this league can compete; not because the teams are good, nor because the other teams lose a lot in the off-season. Instead, any team can compete for the division title because every other team is as weak and as pitiful. Except the Twins. The Twins manage to win pretty regularly. Ok, so I take it back: in this five-team division, four teams are competing for second place. But the first place team?

THE FIRST PLACE TEAM: Minnesota Twins

The Twins could've been good. They could have been a dynasty. Think about it: if the Twins had been willing to spend just a little more money, then they could've had a one-two punch in their rotation of 25-year-old lefty Johan Santana (20-6, 2.61 ERA, 265 k's and 54 BB in 228 innings pitched in 2005) and 24-year-old righty Mark Prior (18-6, 2.43 ERA, 245 k's and 50 BB in 211.1 innings pitched in 2004). Ouch. Instead, the Twins opted for the cheaper (albeit still talented) choice, and as a consequence they've found themselves knocked out of the post season by the Yankees the last two years running. I'm not expecting things to change too much in 2005 for the Twins.

CLUSTER-FARK FOR SECOND PLACE: White Sox and Indians

The Indians were the bane of the AL Central in the 90's. They were a young, competitive team that boasted great offense and great pitching. In fact, the Indians finished first in front of the second-place White Sox for four consecutive years, and after the White Sox finally won the division in 2000, the Indians buried them again in 2001. Then the Twins took control of the division. So here's the sad part: the White Sox have been good enough for second place SEVEN TIMES times in the last nine years. And the Indians, their oppressors for most of those years, have had time to rebuild and return to competitiveness while the White Sox remain firmly lodged as the second best team in baseball's weakest division. Cleveland went from 68 wins last year to 80, and to be fair they have a decent shot at overtaking the Twins in 2005. One thing looks certain: the White Sox won't be finishing in second place for an eighth time.

SEND IN THE CLOWNS: Detroit Tigers

The Tigers were the worst team in baseball in 2003. They were terrible. Then, they began chucking money at free agents. In 2004, the Tigers signed Pudge Rodriguez, Rondell White, and Ugueth Urbina - and they overpaid to do it. 2005 is no different: the Tigers threw absurd amounts of money at Troy Percival and Magglio Ordonez. That's right: it wasn't enough to risk spending too much money on Pudge "Injury-Prone" Rodriguez, they also had to sign a closer who can't throw more than 45 innings a year and a right fielder with a degenerative knee. And for a lot of money. So, it might pay off. The Tigers might win 75 games this year, or perhaps even 80. But they're dumbasses anyway. They're so busy trying to win 80 games this year that they've sacrificed winning perhaps 90 games in two or three years. Plus Detroit is the modern day Sodom and gonorrea. That's right, gonorrea.

THE WORST TEAM IN BASEBALL? Kansas City Royals

Remember when the Royals were supposed to be really good in 2004? They had won 83 games in 2003 and were a team on the rise. Then 2004 rolls around and their team collapses faster than Lizza Mineli after her latest drug binge. The Royals went from a 100-loss team to 83 wins, then back to 104 losses. And what did they do during the off season this year? Anyone? Bueller? Oh right, they signed Jose Lima to a one-year deal. If you've ever seen that guy's wife, you know they aren't bringing him to KC with the hopes that he will be putting asses in the seats. I pity the Royals. They were one of the better franchises in baseball in the 80's, but they can't play in a large market. This year will be no exception.

THREE DAYS

With only three days looming between now and the start of Spring Training, I think it's time to celebrate the coming of the Big Melt in the only way I know how: pointless predictions! And to start things off, let's direct our attention toward the American League East!

Kurt's Fearless (and Pointless) Prediction

AL East Division Winner: Boston Red Sox

Our Curse Cousins shook the sports world last October by doing two things: first, they became the first baseball team in history to come back from almost being swept only to win their playoff series. Against the Yankees. At Yankee Stadium. That's the equivalent of walking into Kim Jong Il's palace in North Korea and sodomizing him in front of all North Koreans everywhere. And second, the Red Sox made the Cardinals look like the shams they were with a World Series sweep.

Then they lost two of their best pitchers, and replaced them with Matt "Clutch" Clement and David "Boomer" Wells. Clement could turn into a great pickup for the Sox, as long as they can find a way to keep him away from important games. But the Red Sox also acquired Edgar Renteria and brought back Jason Varitek. While they probably aren't as good as they were last year, they're still probably a damned sight better than the Yankees. I wouldn't count on a repeat, but expect the Sox to win more than they lose.

Biggest Division Loser: New York Yankees

What's that? Your ace pitcher is 41 years old and has no cartilage in the knee he pushes off on? Say that again? The first baseman you owe 80 million to has admitted to using steroids and has lost probably 40 pounds since he stopped juicing? And your ace closer has lost the ability to get the job done in the clutch? And the youngest guy in your starting outfield is already 30?

A Yankees implosion would be incredibly entertaining. I think that says it all.

45 Homers and 75 Wins: Baltimore Orioles

At least the Orioles are honest. They know that they aren't about to win their division. They know they don't have the competitive balance necessary to win the Wild Card. But they sure as hell know how to put on a show, right? And with Sammy Sosa chasing 600 home runs this year, the Orioles should put asses in the seats and baseballs in the bleachers. I have little doubt that Sammy will have a good year - it is his walk year, after all - but the Orioles are all pop and no pitch.

Swimming in mediocrity: Toronto Blue Jays, Tampa Bay Devil-Rays

Ok, I'm probably being a little harsh on the D-Rays. In theory, they're going to be an improved team. After all, they're young and talented, and they have Lou "The Lip" Pinella screaming obscenities from the dugout every day. And that has to have some jarring effect on the opposing team, right? But Tampa needs to reassess this whole free agency thing. After all, when the biggest move of the year is signing Alex Gonzalez, then you know your team isn't exactly one step away from winning anything. So for 2005, the term "Hapless" can still apply to the D-Rays.

As for the Jays, well, I should go gently on them. After all, I now live in the city they play in, and if I catch a lot of Major League Baseball this year, for the most part it'll be at the SkyDome. Oh sorry, Rogers Field, or whatever the hell they're calling it now. Toronto is another team that should get better in the coming years, but right now they are nothing more than maybe entertaining. Maybe. But they aren't winning anything this year, and I wouldn't be shocked if they spend a lot of time in the basement of their division. But hey - ticket sales should go up this year. The SkyDome is usually as empty as Liza Minelli's wine cellar at the start of the season because of hockey. But this year: no hockey, no excuses.

More to come this week... if I feel like it.

BETTER NEWS COMING?

According to one rumor I read today, the Cubs could've had Urbina for Farnsworth, but Hendry passed up on the deal because he's expecting to land another legitimate closer in the near future.

Of course, the only other closer I can think of Hendry pursuing is Danys Baez, which again brings me hope that a trade to Tampa Bay for Aubrey Huff is imminent. Perhaps Scott Moore and Bo Flowers were acquired for the purpose of inclusion in a deal with the Devil-Rays.

A MOMENT OF SILENCE

Let us stop now, if only for a moment. Let us remember the man that was "The Sperminator," Kyle Farnsworth. Let us recall the good times, like when he... well, were there really any good times? Let us never forget the bad times, such as when Farnsworth created panic and fear from the Wrigley Faithful. (Like, any time he came into a close game in the 8th or 9th.)

Let us not forget Kyle Farnsworth. For soon, he shall no longer be with us. After all, no one so sexually promiscuous can possibly survive in a place like Detroit. The Clap is practically airborne over there.

So Kyle, good luck, god speed, and stay away from the MoTown women.

And helloooooooooooooo Roberto Novoa!

SEVEN DAYS

In one week, the pitchers and catchers will report to Spring Training for the 2005 baseball season. This will be the first year in recent memory that Cubs fans won't have to worry about Sammy coming late and hijacking the media. This will hopefully be a year in which we won't have to worry about Prior or Wood's health, either. In fact, there are a lot of things to anticipate, and so I now present to you a list of things to anticipate going into the 2005 pre-season.

The players can anticipate:

*The throng of groupies ready to throw themselves at Prior, Wood, Patterson, and out of pity, Carlos Zambrano
*Complimentary iPods given by upper management
*Strategically placed Disease Ho's meant to force Farnsworth into lengthy stays on the DL with a rampant case of The Syph
*No Sammy (no joke here, we're just happy he's gone)
*Dusty Baker permitting them to be men and letting them skip lessons on the basics: you know, where they teach you smart baserunning, plate discipline, and proper fielding techniques

The fans can anticipate:

*A healthy rotation
*A second season of Greg Maddux giving up 40 homeruns but winning 15 games
*No Sammy
*The colorful antics of "Crazy" Carlos Zambrano
*A third consecutive winner
*Another year without a pennant

Hmm. I guess the team has more to look forward to.

WELCOME TO THE NEW CUB FAN NATION

With Spring Training only a little more than a week away, I've decided it's time to update this site's look (and continue the CFN's rep as the most redesigned Cubs blog in the business).

Most of the changes are cosmetic in nature, although I am adding a feature in the right hand frame. From this point forward, I will include at least one picture in the right hand frame; usually whichever Cub is my favorite at the moment, but there will be the occasional scapegoat as well. And our first image is of course of our newly-traded Cub, Sammy Sosa.

You will notice on the new Cub Fan Nation banner that this website is an affiliate of the Goat Riders of the Apocalypse, or GROTA for short. Goat Riders will become the Cubs site in the coming season.

One final note: I am working on updating my links section in order to provide the most comprehensive links in the Cub Fan Nation. If possible, every active blog, news source, and official site will be linked in the coming weeks. If you happen to have a Cubs site that isn't linked, feel free to EMail or AIM me.

2005 is going to be a big year for the Cubs, but we won't know whether it'll a big success or a big bust. I hope you stick with me as we find out in time.

MOTOWN MAGGLIO

The Tigers have ended a winter of speculation by signing former White Sox and potential cripple Magglio Ordonez. Here's the kicker: they signed him to a five year, $75 million contract! I'm not sure if you picked up on what I just said. Go back and read it again.


And again.

In case you still don't understand, Magglio has a degenerative knee condition. His career might be over. Or at the least, he could lose all effectiveness within the next few years. He had surgery on his knee this off season, which was done out of country because the procedure is illegal in the States. So basically, Magglio has a disintegrating knee that he contacted Dr. "Hi everybody!" Nick to fix. Analysts everywhere expected a team to take a one-year chance on him. Many thought it would be the Cubs. Then, the Tigers swooped in and signed him for four years and probably $67 million more than any other team was offering.

Those wacky Tigers. They've gone from Baseball's Worst Team to Baseball's Dumbest one. They took a risk on injury-plagued Pudge Rodriguez. It paid off last year, but will Pudge stay healthy? Then they took a risk on Troy Percival - an old closer who can't throw 50 innings in a year anymore. Now, they're taking a risk on Magglio.

And I say, let them. In the meantime, the Cubs desperately need to find a way to get Aubrey Huff and Danys Baez without sacrificing Carlos Zambrano. But if the D-Rays want our six top minor league prospects, I'd say, "trade them." If the D-Rays wanted some under-the-table action from Jim Hendry, I'd say, "do it!" Because if the Cubs have another solid bat in the outfield, and a closer in the bullpen, they Pennant is ours to lose.

THE LATIN CONNECTION

Something I'm unsure that we've really hit on is how in the past handful of years, many of the best players on the Cubs originate from Latin America. First, naturally, there was Sosa and Alou, but the Cubs are also expecting a lot of production out of Aramis Ramirez and Carlos Zambrano. Both players agreed to terms with the Cubs yesterday, avoiding arbitration in the process.

Zambrano signed for $3.76 million, while Ramirez came back at a hefty raise and is now earning $8.95 million. That's probably just the tip of the iceburg for Aramis, who the Cubs will likely try to lock up in a long-term deal. Ramirez will be shooting for a similar deal to what Adrian Beltre received this off season - 5 years for $64 million. Considering that Santo's ghost still looms over the third base side, I'd say Aramis deserves it.

The Cubs are going to need a big year out of Aramis if they want to be offensively sound. I think everyone's a bit worried about the loss of homeruns and RBI from Alou and Sosa, but the Cubs still have a group of solid hitters in Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, and Nomar Garciaparra, while Michael Barrett and Corey Patterson have to have a good year to earn my trust. Todd Walker is decent but not All Star Caliber, and *spits* Jeromy Burnitz probably won't cost the team any games, but won't win them, either. And if Jerry Hairston actually gets to start, he should be an adequate leadoff guy.

One of the most prominent problems with the Cubs of the past is that their lineup was terrible once you got past the #5 hitter. This year, the Cubs might be good up through the #6 or #7 spot. They won't have the killer offense of the Cardinals or Red Sox, but they will continue to have the best starting rotation in all of baseball. If Wood, Zambrano, and Prior stay healthy, the team should compete.

But I'm not being optimistic. Without a closer, this team has no chance of advancing through the post season. I hope Dempster can get the job done, and I really hope that Sweaty Joe rediscovers that old velocity. If Sweaty Joe can come back, I'll be amazed and overjoyed.

I guess some of these questions will be answered when pitchers and catchers report in less than a week and a half.

CUBS GET "BETTER"

Our worst fears have been confirmed. The Cubs have signed free agent outfielder Jeromy Burnitz to a one year deal worth somewhere between 4 and 5 million. Burnitz is a Matt Stairs type player; a big guy who can hit the ball a mile, but has trouble making contact regardless. According to the Tribune, the deal with Burnitz is contingent on Sammy passing his physical, thus completing the trade with Baltimore.

This really isn't a trade that improves the team, but I'd still rather have Burnitz on the team rather than Sosa. Jeromy has a cannon for an arm, he still draws some walks, he has the potential to hit just as many homeruns as a steroid-ridden Sosa (but from the left side of the plate), he won't expect to bat 3rd or 4th, and you know what? No matter how you look at it, this is still a shitty signing during a shitty off season by the Cubs.

I really believe the team is one Huff/Baez trade away from being National League favorites. But Jeromy Burnitz isn't going to win them anything, and I'm very disappointed that this is the big replacement move. But I'm going to Trust in Hendry for now, and hope that the team on opening day doesn't look quite as lame.

BURN-ITZED

Although the Cubs may still trade for Aubrey Huff from Tampa, a more imminate move looks to be the signing of journeyman outfielder Jeromy Burnitz. Last year Burnitz batted .283 and slammed 37 homers and 110 RBI for the Rockies. He also struck out 124 times, and he'll be 36 for most of next season. Outside of Coors Field, Burnitz's numbers are a little less than spectacular. In 2003 he hit 31 homers, drove in 77 RBI, and batted a whopping .239. But hey, that was an improvement on his .215 batting average in 2002, when he only hit 19 homeruns in 479 at bats.

Hey, anything's better than Sammy.

His Wrigley numbers are a little better: in 47 games at the friendly confines, Burnitz hit 14 homeruns in 180 at bats, drove in 38 RBI, and has a batting average of .256. Again, not great, but weren't we expecting those numbers from Sammy to begin with? It's not a good signing, should it happen. For the Cubs to compete, they need to go out and get Aubrey Huff.

But while we lament Hendry for waiting too long to bring in anyone, let's consider the two biggest differences between Burnitz and Sosa.

1) Burnitz is not an arrogant, egotistical clubhouse cancer who would poison the team
2) Burnitz probably would bat no higher than 6th

Sounds good to me.