IT'S OVER

For all intents and purposes, the 2004 campaign is a dud.

I don't believe in curses, although I am superstitious when it comes to the Cubs. I don't think God is out to screw the Cubs over, but I do think some force of nature may be against them. Most of all, I think Joe Borowski is a hopeless piece of crap who should be put on waviers RIGHT NOW.

I went to Pittsburgh this weekend. Saw the double header. Say what you will of Corey Patterson, but I have tremendous respect for him right now. He hustles on EVERY play, and for a brief moment in the 9th inning I thought his actions were going to take the Cubs to extra innings. Basically, he made a game saving catch that should have scored a runner, but didn't, when he could have let it drop because hey, the Cubs were going to lose anyway, right?

Borowski is a piece of crap.

I guess injuries are partly to blame. It's hard to win with so many starters on the DL. The Cubs definitely are aching without Wood, Prior, Mercker, and Sosa. But let's be realistic. There's no reason to assume the injury bug will ever go away.

Second is the utter failing of the pen. You can't get over a hump like that. You can have your star players, score your six runs a game, and still lose repeatedly due to bullpen failures. And having a closer who just can't get it done...

...Borowski is a piece of crap...

...has to hurt your team's confidence, and obviously is going to hurt your record in the standings.

So, I think the Cubs will probably finish over .500. They might win 84. Hell, they may even win 90. But I don't think it'll be enough. I do not believe they'll make the post season. I don't believe they are a pennant team. I don't believe they'll be healthy enough to make any sort of run for anything.

A taunting aspect - last night I had a dream that the Cubs clinched and were set to play the Red Sox in the Series. If only.

So, I wish Mark Prior a speedy recovery. I wish Kerry Wood a season full of health. I wish the Cubs the best of luck, but I'm out of it. No more apologies, no more stupid belief that they're going to win. And chances are, my posting here will suffer from it, because when I'm thinking negative about the team I don't want to post about them. Hell, I don't even want to read about them when I feel that way. But I'll try to keep updating every two or three days for the sake of my sporadic readers, whoever you may be.

But count me out. No more koolaid for me. This team sucks.

%@%#!

So, today I'm wondering just exactly what will it take to get the Cubs to be more consistant offensively. I don't blame their inability to set the table for their consistant ability to get shut out. Even if no one is on base, they have enough hitters so that they should pop one or two homeruns any given night.

I'm going to have to blame Gary Matthews.

PRIORFEST ENTERS THIRD DAY
Event labeled "for love and peace" by attendees

When Mark Prior first arrived in Lansing, Michigan, no one expected that big of a to do in the small mid-west farming community. However, after two successful starts in Lansing for the A-ball affiliate Lugnuts, PriorFest has swept the midwest.

"It's like he can see into all our souls, man," said Bernard "Lovenut" Jones, a Chicagoan who has been in Lansing since before Prior's first start. "It's like, every time he pitches, he says 'see man? The world's not so bad.' Politics, war, racism, he makes it all better man. I haven't slept in a week."

Bernard Jones isn't alone in the sentiment. Thousands of Cub fans from all over America have journeyed to this small community to share in the fun of watching Mark Prior pitch. In doing so, many now say that it has changed their lives.

"No one expected this, fer sure," said Minnesota naitive Sally Wadsworth. "Like, I feel like we can change the world now, and stuff. Fer sure. And I hear Aerosmith and the Grateful Dead will be here tomorrow!"

Wadsworth heard correctly. Getting word that a big event was already happening in Lansing, dozens of major bands throughout America have cancelled prior engagements and will be flying in to Lansing to give a concert. Included on the ticket are Dylan and the Dead, Aerosmith, the Who, Simon and Garfunkel, Neil Young, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, and many others.

However, Mark Prior will soon leave Lansing for Des Moines, to pitch for the Triple A affiliate Iowa Cubs. While the party is expected to follow, Lansing need not feel too bad to be left behind. With Kerry Wood suffering a recent injury to his tricep, could a Woodstock be far behind?

IT'S THE PITCHING, STUPID

As we learn that Mark Prior is set to make two more rehab starts - one in Lansing, one in Iowa - we learn that if Kerry Wood misses more than a few weeks he also will host a Woodstock in the minors before returning to the Major League rotation. Meanwhile the Cubs are counting heavier and heavier on Carlos Zambrano to get them through things, while any Cub fan with a sense of history is remembering 1985 when this basic, very exact thing happened to the heavily favored Cubs (who finished 20 games out of first due to the onset of many, many injuries).

Get all that? Good.

RUMORS AND OTHER LIES

So the Cubs have been scouting Mariners games. At a glance it's to acquire SS Rich Aurilia (who to be honest, I expected the Cubs to go after during the off season). More than that, the Cubs reportedly have an interest in Mariners ace Freddy Garcia, but as our own Al Yellon reported before any other venue I've seen, the real point of Cubs interest may be leadoff hitter and CF Ichiro Suzuki.

I'm guessing Patterson would be dealt for sure, but I don't know who else out of the Cubs rotation would be traded for Garcia. Perhaps Sergio and a few others from the minor leagues? Maybe Clement? (Hopefully not Zambrano.)

Today the Cubs begin a hugely important series against the Astros. They play Houston five times in the next nine games. I wouldn't be so worried except those games will all be played without Kerry Wood or Mark Prior, without Sammy Sosa, and to a lesser degree of concern, without Grudz or Gonzo. The Cubs will be lucky to win two games.

BETTER NEWS, ...SORT OF

This Friday, my beloved girlfriend and I will be taking the four hour drive down to Pittsburgh to watch the Cubs double header. It'll be my first two Cub games of the season, and whether she admits it or not she has become far more open to Cubs baseball in the last year. Last June when the Cubs were in Toronto I tried to convince her to go to at least two of three games, and she was entirely opposed to more than one. And here we are not a year later when she's more excited about the double header than I am.

It would've been nicer if Kerry Wood was one of the two starters for the game.

MAKE LEMONAIDE

And so, the Cubs season of woes continues. Kerry Wood is now expected to miss another three weeks. Kent Mercker is now on the DL with - you guessed it - a sore back. And maybe it's just me, but I would swear that Dusty Baker has been walking around with a bit of a limp.

And yet, the Cubs are tied for first place.

Either the NL Central is the most incompotent division in baseball, or the Cubs are an unstoppable force that no number of injuries can hold back. I suppose the bench has been a big help, or at least that is what they (and the Cubs media) would lead you to believe.

In fact, the only Lemon with any degree of good production is Todd Hollandsworth, who is batting .356.

Bako is batting .162
Jackson is batting .071
Martinez is batting .227
and Macias is batting .300 but hasn't even drawn a walk.

However, the Cubs are playing well. Let's see how they hold up until the starters get back.

20 STRIKEOUTS

I'm watching ESPN Classic as I blog this. It is the legendary 20 K game. This time, I've decided to tape it, mostly to show my brother just how dominating Kerry Wood was. He seems to be of the opinion that the Randy Johnson 20 k game was the most dominating pitching in baseball history. I think that Wood should've gotten a no-hitter that day, and I also think he had, absolutely, the best pitching effort of his or any other player's career.

Someone could perhaps tell me if I'm wrong, but the first thing I noticed was that Wood's fastball seemed to have just a bit more zip in 98 than it does today. Second was the obviously insane movement of the slurve. Third was that many Astros batters returned to the bench looking annoyed and shaking their heads, as if to say "what the hell was I swinging at?!"

What a fantastic game. I'm glad I'll finally have it on tape.

And for those at all curious, it will be taping over the Friends Series Finale, a copy I made for my mom. I think we all know which one will be more entertaining.

LATE ADDITION TO POST

In a way, much like the Game Ryne Sandberg became Ryne Sandberg, the Kerry Wood 20 k Game marks the turning point in the Cubs season. It was after this game that we knew something would happen in 98.

I wonder if we go back through 2003, would there be a single game that conveyed to the Cub Fan Nation that something magical was going to happen?

Will there be such a game in '04?

NO NEWS WOULD BE BETTER NEWS

Part of the Cubs success last year was the health of their pitchers. The only guy to miss any time was Mark Prior, who missed perhaps three starts while recovering from a freak collision on July 11th against Atlanta.

Another part of their success was the ability to plug holes. Opening day starters Corey Patterson and Hee Seop Choi both were lost, and Eric Karros, Kenny Lofton, and Randall Simon successfully stepped in.

So far this year, much to the fears of many Cub fans (myself included) the Cubs have suffered a rash of injuries. Neither Mark Prior nor Mike Remlinger have thrown an inning of work in the major leagues - I shouldn't have to say how important they are to the team. Opening day starters Alex Gonzalez and Mark Grudzielanek are both on the DL - Gonzalez with a broken arm, Grudz with the same achilles problem that has plagued Prior. And now Sammy Sosa and Kerry Wood are on the DL - one with back spasms, the other with a sore tricep.

And the Cubs are only one game out of first place.

I think that about sums it up.

IT'S GETTING BETTER

Back in the glory days of rock when the Beatles still toured, Ringo took ill and for a time a young drummer named Jimmy Nicol took over for him. Nicol was bombarded with the stressful life that the Beatles lived, and probably wasn't enjoying himself too much for that reason. During every show Paul would ask him how it was going, and he would reply by saying "it's getting better." That's how I'm feeling about the Cubs right now, although I still want some trades to happen before we get far into July.

Mark Prior will return soon, but not before headlining Priorstock, coming to a mid-western city near you. Cubs fans are expected to flock to Lansing, and later possibly West Tennessee and De Moines to follow Prior's wake as he enters the home stretch toward recovery.

Kerry Wood pitched without pain this morning and is tenatively expected back this coming Saturday against the accursed Cardinals.

The offense continues to be all or nothing - averaging 6 runs a game during this four game winning streak. I reiterate that I want to see improvements at a few positions, but most of the Cubs problems have stemed from the regulars not doing their jobs. Once guys like Derek Lee and Aramis Ramirez start hitting on all cylanders, the Cubs probably won't be shut out again this season.

I think that if, back in late March you were told "Mark Prior will miss the first two months of the season, Kerry Wood will miss a start or two, Grudz will be out indefinately,Remlinger will be slow to return from his surgery, Farnsworth will pitch like he has no brain, and Borowski's deal with the devil will expire on April 1st, and Roger Clemens will start the year 7-0, but the Cubs will be tied for first place two weeks before Prior returns," you would've been happy, if not entirely surprised. But now that we're here, the team's deficiencies are slapping us in the face and we're left questioning whether or not the team can make the post season, and for that matter make a run for the pennant should they clinch a spot.

Baseball is a strange game, and we are fickle, fickle fans. But I've got to believe it's getting better... getting better all the time.

I LIVE

Although I doubt I have any constant readers, I feel bad when I don't post for three or four days at a time. Typically, there is one of two reasons for that. I'm either so disgusted with the team that I can barely bring myself to read about the Cubs, not to even mention writing about them, or I'm visiting with my girlfriend who lives a few hours away from me (which happens about every other week).

Some time ago I decided to write a column about rivalry in baseball, and collected EMails from several guys from the Cub blog army. I'll try to get it up before the pending St. Louis series.

Pitch to Bonds?

I say hell yes, unless he starts killing us. What's the point about allegedly having the best starting pitching in baseball if you're afraid to use it?

I'll probably blog more later today.

WOOD HURT, ORDONEZ TO THE... RESCUE?

I'm sure Cub fans everywhere were scared shitless last night after Kerry Wood left the game after two innings. As I'm sure you all know by now, Wood had a sore tricep, but tests have revealed that it wasn't torn.

I'm pretty impressed with our friends at the Cub Reporter. They were writing about Dusty Baker's "type of hitter" - swings a lot, walks little, and they came to the conclusion that weak hitting Rey Ordonez was exactly the type of shitter... er, hitter that Baker covets.

So, I guess it should be no surprise that the Cubs locked up Ordonez for the year.

...yay...

...*pukes*...

Guys, this is not the dominating Cubs team we were hoping for. This is a scratch along, lose-too-often team. I haven't abandoned the thought that they could pull off the same sort of magic as last year, nor do I believe they aren't a playoff team. But some trades need to be made, some bats need to be acquired, otherwise it's going to be a long, disappointing summer.

AND THE WORLD SHUDDERS

This has nothing to do with baseball, but over in Iraq today, a video was released depicting an American civilian named Nick Berg getting decapitated by Iraqi (Al Queda?) insurgents.

Here in America, people are outraged. They are calling for blood. Someone brashly stated that we could always use more glass, and we have plenty of nukes.

What's lost in the hatred is the fact that this heartless execution of an innocent was an act of retaliation. Before they killed Nick Berg, they offered to trade him with Americans for some of their imprisoned allies. Before they slit his throat, they proclaimed that it was an act of revenge.

When you get down to it, it's all an act of revenge. It's a cycle of violence. A group of people irrationally humiliate, maim, and kill someone from ANOTHER group of people.

The SECOND group of people see footage of this and are OUTRAGED. The blood is on their hands, they say. We have to wipe them out, they shout. DEATH TO THEM ALL, they declare.

The first group of people COULD be Americans, they COULD be Islamics. Both groups feel that they have been inhumanely mistreated. Both groups want to retaliate with blood. Both fail to realize that blood is what started this, and blood will merely continue it.

Seriously guys. Kill as many of them as you want - those who remain will be infuriated, they WILL retaliate, and more and more will die. And the more who retaliate will merely infuriate US, and WE will retaliate... and it's just a bloody, viscious circle.

This thing is never going to end until we are all destroyed in the biggest act of hatred and violence yet. And you know what? I'm starting to think we as a species do not deserve to survive.

OFF DAY RAMBLINGS

Generally speaking, I was hoping for better play from the team so far into the season. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they've had success, and they've hung in there even without their top pitcher. I expect them to be in it all year long. But it would be really nice if they could get ahead of the pack a bit - something I don't think will happen.

It is obvious to me, however, that a few things are needed.

The Cubs need to trade some of their players. Including:

Kyle Farnsworth
Alex Gonzalez (as if anyone would take him)

Likewise, The Cubs should trade a few others, but don't need to. Such as:

Matt Clement
Grudz OR Walker

Generally, I expect better play out of the following guys:

Corey Patterson, Aramis Ramirez, Derek Lee.

Those three guys will be the reasons the Cubs take the division, or their poor play will be the reason they fail.

About Corey: I'm not sold yet that he'll be an All Star caliber player. But I wouldn't give up on him. Who cares if he strikes out a lot - Sammy does, McGwire did, etc etc. It seems like he's unsure of himself at the plate, but every guy goes through that. I'm not going to give up on him until he's played an entire season of mediocrity.

About D. Lee: He should be batting in the #2 spot. He might be more productive with Sammy behind him.

About Aramis: Moises is really helping him along. Hopefully this guy will be the long term solution.

Ultimately I place some of the blame on Gary Matthews. I don't like his hitting mentality, nor do I like Dusty's. Hopefully the Cubs will start walking a bit more. Hopefully the offense will collect more hits, score more runs. Otherwise, it's going to be a stressful summer at Wrigley.

CUBS ALMOST MEDIOCRE

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can't lose. I ask, what's it going to take? The wind was blowing out. The Rockies are a team that is comprised of a bunch of Meats and maybe four talented players - none of whom are really in the rotation. Jeff Fassero - a 40-something crap-ass reliever abandoned years ago by a crap-ass Cubs team had to throw what, almost three innings of relief for the Cubs to capitalize on him like Vin Baker on a keg of beer!

Hell, the Cubs even used Mr. (Un)reliable himself, Kyle Farnsworth. The Trib has an interesting article about him which makes him out to be a nice guy with a bit of a sordid past. I still think he is the Captain Asshat.

At this point I'm already looking to June or July when the Cubs will hopefully upgrade the lineup somehow. However it's not that the weaker positional players are costing the team games. It's more that the guys we need to rely on aren't delivering - especially in the clutch.

Kerry Wood pitches next against Jeff Weaver and the Dodgers. Weaver is not a good pitcher, yet he will almost certainly look like one against this Cubs lineup. And Wood really needs a win here in order to avoid one of those Kerry Wood periods in which he goes five or six starts without a win. Woody is probably our best shot at a Cy Young - he needs to play that way.

But then again, most everyone is playing below what they need to.

WHAT THE?

So basically it's 2003 all over again. We'll spend the first two and a half months of the season agonizing over the great pitching and the shit offense, until finally Hendry starts pulling a few deals to give the team an offensive punch.

A big difference is, again, somehow, the bullpen is a huge concern. I respect Hendry because at least every off season he tries to upgrade the pen, but it seems that with each year there are more problems than solutions.

Me, I'm hoping for a few things to happen. First, Angel Guzman needs to pick up where he left off. Come late June or early July, and he might be ready to step up and play in the majors. At that point I'd try to deal Clement and maybe a few mid-level prospects for some offensive punch at shortstop and maybe for a reliever or two.

Clement doesn't have that much value, however, so the offensive punch will have to be someone a bit older or someone underappreciated.

As for the rest of then pen, don't worry folks. As the pic below shows, Joe Borowski has worked things out with his ... uh ... his agent and he should be ready for the rest of the season.

ALBERT SHIT-DITCH

I got to see two of the four games against the Cardinals this weekend with my girlfriend. Any time Albert Pujols came up to bat, she started giggling. Finally I asked her why, and she said "He's Albert POO-HOLES!" Literally every at bat in the series, she laughed at him.

So, aside from feeling shame for having not thought of it first, I will now refer to him as Shit-Ditch, or other variations.

No wonder he's such a big, mean looking guy. He probably got tormented for his last name!

KYLE FARNSWORTH IS...



...the biggest asshat on the team.

KYLE FARNSWORTH MUST GO

When will Dusty Baker learn that you never, ever ever let Kyle Farnsworth pitch in a clutch situation?

It's so annoying, irritating, and frustrating. I just want Farnsworth off the team. Hopefully they'll deal him by June or July to the latest, and hopefully get something of value in return so the Cubs can make their pennant run.

Other thoughts on the weekend series:

*Our starting pitchers are hardcore, our relief pitchers are wuss rock.

*The offense really needs to make up its mind; tear the cover off the ball or roll over and die.

*Any opposing pitcher with half a good resume shuts the offense down. That needs to stop.

*Kyle Farnsworth is the biggest asshat on the team - even worse than Alex Gonzalez. Later today I will photoshop Kyle's asshatedness.

More to come later.