SWEEPLESS IN ARIZONA

They tried, but even after three solo shots from Steve Finley, the Cubs avoided the sweep. Alex Gonzalez goes from being a Worthless Asshat to being a Worthless Asshat who hits 9th inning homeruns.

Today the Cubs get to rest, before really starting the '04 campaign by playing a four game series against the hated Cardinals. Hopefully they'll pick up right where they left off, and leave the Cardinals and their fans crying like the "morans" they are.

MAD DOG BAKER AND KID WOOD

Sounds like a western in the making. Baker and Wood were served with suspensions for their altercations with the umpiring crew during the Reds series. Both player and coach found the rulings to be a bit absurd. Baker sat out last night, and Wood will be appealing.

CUBS AND TIGERS SWAP LEFTIES

The Tribune is reporting that the Chicago Cubs and Detroit Tigers have traded minor league lefties Felix Sanchez and John Connolly.

According to the Tribune, Connolly "spent the 2003 season at Class A West Michigan where he went 16-3 with a 1.41 ERA in 25 starts. He was selected as the Tigers 'Minor League Pitcher of the Year.'"

Sanchez has been a lefty prospect for the Cubs who has spent time in Double A and Chicago since last season. I'm guessing that because he's a big further progressed, the Tigers will be looking to insert him into their pitching staff later this year or next year, while Connolly is still at least a few years away from performing in the big leagues.

Unless there's a nugget of info that I'm missing, it sounds like a great deal for the Cubs with a lot of potential upside.

OR the Cubs just gave away their next Dontrell Willis.

MADDUX WILL DELIVER

Greg Maddux does not exactly look like he poses much of a threat. In fact, to look at him he looks a lot like an Every-Man. The sort of guy who is more likely to be clipping your bushes rather than trimming the edges of home plate. So, I thought to myself, based on how he LOOKS, what would Greg Maddux be doing had God never blessed him with a golden arm. The answer....



I think Maddux will build on his first victory and carry the Cubs to a win. In fact, I'm going to be bold and predict that the Cubs won't get swept by any team this season - at least not in any three game series.

Oh, and the original:

CUB BLOGS, UNITE!

Finally got around to updating my links, including the long-overdue addition of Ivy Chat and a few others. Go and enjoy, if you haven't seen them already.

MADMAN ZAMBRANO

Don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Here's two pics of Carlos Zambrano - the before and after, basically. I used photoshop, and a picture of a nuclear explosion in order to make it.



Any thoughts on it?

OUT IN THE WHUPPIN SHED

Right when Chicago thought they were the biggest bullies on the block, El Grande Utensilo stepped up, drew back, and beat that silly little smirk right off our faces.

Over on Chicago's side, the bitch list is long, and includes Corey Patterson, Sammy Sosa, Aramis Ramirez, Derek Lee, and Alex Gonzalez. All told, those men left 10 runners on base last night and struck out six times.

Let's just be happy he's not an Astro, folks.

Tonight the Cubs seek revenge, sending out Serio "Who, Me?-tre" against Should've Been ROY Brandon Webb. Actually I'm expecting a win tonight, with one condition. Randy Johnson, much like legendary lefty Sandy Koufax, has the reputation as a slump-starter. He can turn an effective offensive team into the Expos on a dime, and this will be the game where we find out if there are any lingering effects from his dominance.

A bit later today I'm going to have a new photoshop up - this time of Zambrano and what he looks like when he loses his temper on the mound. Until then, I think I speak for all of the Cub Fan Nation when I say... OUCH!

12-6

Quick trivia question for you folks. When is the last time the Cubs started a season 12-6?

Is the answer... 1969?

Nope. The anwer is... 2003.

BUT after beginning last year with a 12-6 record, the Cubs promtly went 3-5 for the remainder of the month, and spent most of the rest of the season trying to get to 10 games over .500.

There are at least three HUGE differences between last year and this year. First is the drastically improved offense: it feels like these guys can score 5 or more runs on any given day, and in fact might score as many as 10 without a whole lot of effort.

The second difference is, simply, No Shawn Estes.

The third difference: the Cubs are doing as well and aren't even at full strength. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hasn't even thrown a pitch yet. I think it's going to be a fun year in Wrigleyville.

39-5

In the last six games, the Cubs have outscored their opponents by 34 runs, or an average of 5.67 runs a game. That coveted Cubs pitching that allowed 63 runs in their first 12 games (or 5.25 per game) have buckled down. Coming up are series against Arizona, St. Louis, and Colorado. None of these teams are offensive slouches, so we'll see how well the Cubs pitching continues.

SWEET

Some random, disjointed thoughts about the Cubs:

*I know he's a slow starter to begin with, but I think Derek Lee should be batting 2nd or 3rd in this lineup. He'd probably get better pitches to hit if he was batting in front of Sammy and Moises.

*In it's preview issue, Sports Illustrated ranked the top pitchers in baseball. Kerry Wood was #5, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named #7. Maybe it was because The Nameless One was expected to miss so much time that he was ranked that low. Regardless, for all you Cub fans out there who complain that Kerry Wood has never reached his potential, I ask you just how much are you expecting from him? The baseball community seems to view him as an ace, and the journalists seem to agree. With a team like this one, should he stay healthy he aught to come damn near 20 wins this season, and perhaps a Cy Young.

*Doesn't it look like Moises Alou is going to have a big year? Last year he only hit 22 homeruns - I think even once he slows down a bit he's still going to wind up with 25-30.

All for now... more about the game later today.

29-3

Is this a little more like it? With last night's 12-1 routing of the Pirates, the Cubs leap to 9-6 on the standings, and are now in a tie for first place in the central. I'm particularly curious about what the Sloth has to say about this. If he says it's too early to get excited, then you could also argue it's too early to be worried. Guess we'll see if the Cubs can get their first sweep of the season, although my gut tells me it'll be tough. Usually when you score a huge amount of runs in a game, you follow up with a low scoring affair. Guess we'll see how it goes tonight.

Oh, you guys know when Dusty was ejected after flipping out on the ump? Well now the truth can be revealed. The following photo was taken that day, so we can finally understand why Dusty screwed up with the lineup and was ejected.



Just goes to show, never drink and manage.

17-2

The Cubs haven't been consistant, but when they've played well, they've played REALLY well. In the last two games they've outscored opponents 17 runs to 2. This has been at the hands of the bottom part of the rotation - Zambrano and Clement. Wood has also been effective, and that only leaves Maddux and Sergio as question marks. But I still believe that Greg will eventually pull it together, and Sergio only has to win half his games to compensate for He Who Shall Not Be Named Until He Returns From the DL.

The offense is going to be HUGE this year. Moises may not stay healthy, but he looks like he hasn't lost any bat speed between seasons. Aramis and Derek are probably going to hit more homeruns at the corners than any Cubs combo in... well, maybe in EVER. Even Barrett is putting up good offensive numbers, although I frankly think he's shit behind the plate. Total, absolute shit. I'm going to predict in fact that as long as he's starting, the Cubs will lead the league in passed balls and wild pitches.

Regardless, I don't find situations as dire as the Sloth, although there are question marks. I'll write about those another time, though.

PHOTOSHOP pt. 3

Final photoshop for a while... I wish I'd known how to use photoshop back in the day.

New pictures reveal beyond a shadow of a doubt that Sammy Sosa USED STEROIDS! Here, for the first time ever, we have Before and After pics, revealing how Sammy looked while ON steroids, and how Sammy NOW looks since he's quit them. Here you go:

Before:


After:

MORE PHOTOSHOP FUN

I'm really enjoying this photoshop thing way too much. This the latest... a Kerry Wood heater.

SHAME ON YOU, SLOTH AND STEW



William Ligue my ass. All along it was the Uncouth Sloth and Stewdonna who hated Tom Gamboa, charged onto the field, and promptly got their asses thumped. Shame on you, Sloth, you should know better.

Don't worry folks, someday I'll get GOOD at photoshop, but I'm trying!

I HOPE YOU GUYS APPRECIATE THIS

Back on April 1st, I changed my blog overnight from the Cubs to the White Sox. Guys like the Sloth gave me props for it, but that was relatively easy. What you're looking at now took me about 5 hours of work. It's my first ever photoshop attempt - if you want to see people who've perfected it into an art, go to Fark and check out the photoshop contests. As the season progresses I'm going to keep doing these, and hopefully in time I'll get them to look REALLY good. But for now, all you get is Honest Abe Clement.

SHOULD WE BE WORRIED?



Today, Matt Clement tries to right the ship in the fourth game of what is turning into a very controversal, upsetting series. It's not all bad, however. Moises Alou is presently on pace for 81 homeruns. Aramis Ramirez is on pace for 191 RBI.

If one thing has been comforting, it's been the offense. What's been brutal has been the pitching. Joe Borowski is at risk of losing his job as closer - this after receiving a lucrative deal from the Cubs in the off season. Greg Maddux has been erratic. Corey Patterson has also been inconsistant, and with a few exceptions he's been the one Cub not to offensively contribute a lot this series.

One point of fact - it IS early in the season. Like last year, the Cubs aren't going to run away with it. It's going to be a dog fight all year long - or until the pitching improves, assuming it will.

But there is one thing I believe: when the dust settles, the Reds will be nowhere near first place. That they've given the Cubs so much trouble is a bad, bad sign.

$@#!%

Looks like the Reds have Chicago's number early in the season ... or is it the UMPIRE crew that does?

I only got to watch the first game, but missed the Dusty explosion. However it really seems like the Cubs lost two games because of shitty, shitty umpiring.

I don't have much else to add about it. I'm feeling frustrated, and I'm hoping the Cubs step up and cought up a four or five game winning streak. In the meantime I'm going to sit and simmer.

THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

The baseball season is full of euphoric highs and disillusioning lows. Yesterday was definitely a high, and should the Cubs do what baseball pundits expect them to do, they will look back on yesterday and say it was the point in which they knew they could win any game in any situation - even after trailing throughout the day.

Today, we find out what Kerry Wood is really going to be like this year. In the first game he struggled, in his second game he dominated, will today be a mix between the two? Will he get rocked? Will he control the game from the first pitch? With Prior missing so much time, Kerry becomes the Cubs best shot at a Cy Young award, but he's going to have to show a consistancy that he's never had in his career.

Although it would help if he saw run production like the last few days.

DA-YAMN

Sammy said "ball, you my bitch, bitch."

And ball says, "Ok daddy, I'll go into the right field bleachers."

And the bleachers say, "Damn, that is one fine ass ball."

And Sammy says "that'll be a buck fifty."

This was one of those games where you realize a couple of things. First is that so far, the Cubs pitching has been a bit disappointing, but that's to be expected a little. Besides that, it's early. The second realization is that when the offense is on, the Cubs are never out of it. Considering the two, I have to believe this will be a good year for Chicago.

I realize it's way too early to say this, but I hope this is a sign that the Cubs days with flirting with .500 are over, at least for this season. With Wood going tomorrow, let's hope they build on this and never look back.

Da-yamn.

ONGOING GAME NOTES

Just a couple of thoughts as this game progresses:

*That's the Sergio we all know and loathe.

*I don't think he's going to have a huge year, but Alou has some left in the tank. With an older vet like that, bat speed tends to be lost between seasons. Moises has still been hitting the fastball like of old, and he may put up similar numbers to 2003.

*Anyone notice that there hasn't been much talk about Ramirez ending Santo Curse at third? Maybe that's because it's so obvious.

'Nuff said for now. The game is tied 4-4 as I write this.

THE OUTCOME, LIKE DEATH AND TAXES, WAS CERTAIN

I can still say the Cubs have scored the majority of runs in a minority of games. After today they've played 9 games, and scored 45 runs (an average of 5 per game, very respectable). However, of those 45 runs, 28 have come in three games.

Here to see the Cubs game? Stand over there

If you want to see some Cubs games this year, it looks like it's going to be tough to get a seat. Please correct me if I'm mistaken, but the Cubs added 200 seats before the start of the season, giving them 39,084 seats in Wrigley Field. So far, in two of three games at home, they have surpassed official capacity. ESPN reports that the Cubs opened in front of 40,483 fans, and today's game saw 39,450. If the Cubs play to everyone's expectations, standing-room only could become the norm during the season. Wouldn't it be awesome if the Cubs finished the year at something like 101% capacity?

CUBS vs. PIRATES, RUBBER GAME

Carlos Zambrano: 1 GS 0-0, 1.29 ERA
Josh Fogg: 1 GS 0-1, 5.40

Storyline: The Cubs haven't been over .500 on the season since the first game of the year. However they've been hanging strong, and loss-wise are only one game behind the only team that matters in the central, the Houston Astros. Carlos Zambrano takes the mound again today. In his first outing he gave a solid performance, allowing only one run - a homer by Andruw Jones. But the Cubs offense was dead, and were it not for late inning heroics and the Braves inability to deliever on extra-inning opportunities, the Cubs would've wasted his gem. Cub pundits thought that April would be a Mickey Mouse month for Chicago, but if they fail to take advantage of their easy schedule, they may have a harder time down the road.

The Pirates are also fighting to climb over .500 on the season. The last time the Pirates were a .500 team was 1993, but with a young squad and a stellar manager, better times might be coming for Pittsburgh. However, it seems pretty unlikely that "better times" are 2004. Pitching today is 27-year-old Josh Fogg. A former White Sox prospect, this is Fogg's third year in the Pirates rotation. He's won 22 games over the last two years for a bad team, and he's hardly a dominant pitcher, but he is a respectable #5 pitcher on many teams in the league.

Outcome: Who knows? The Cubs have scored 35 runs this season, 18 of which came in two games. When the Cubs are hitting, they hit hard, but mostly it's just been swing and miss. Fogg is NOT a great pitcher, but even unimpressive pitchers have looked good against the Cubs at times early this season. In theory, the Cubs will hammer the Pirates today, but as always there's a possibility of it being a low scoring affair, or even a Pirates victory.

BAD NEWS

If I'm going to post I should really post about the news, too. The injury bug that plagued the Cubs in Spring Training has followed them north, just as I feared. Cubs second baseman Mark Grudzielanek has been put on the disabled list with a partial tear of his Achilles' tendon. Cubs GM Jim Hendry speculates that Grudz may only miss two weeks, but might miss up to a month of action. Which evokes the question: if he tears his tendon and only misses two weeks to a month, why will Prior miss maybe up to two months because his was inflamed Thankfully Todd Walker is a Cub. He's good enough to be a starter for many teams.

In better, non-Cubs news, Barry Bonds surpassed his godfather yesterday as the third all-time greatest homerun hitter. It's possible that Barry will finish the year with 700, and if he can hit 50 this year he might have the ability to surpass Ruth and Aaron in the same season next year.

Also, one thought on Phil Mickleson: he was the Cubs of golf. If Phil can win a Masters, I think the Cubs can win a pennant. It's only in good time.

CUBS/BUCKS GAME 2

Kerry Wood isn't going to win every game. Segrio Mitre isn't going to pitch his heart out every start. Carlos Zambrano isn't going to hold them to a run every time he throws. So, Matt Clement and Greg Maddux are going to have to start winning. I still expect good things out of Maddux, but if Clement gets beaten up by the Pirates we're in trouble.

Like last year, this team reminds me a bit of Bang the Drum Slowly - sometimes they win with their pitching, sometimes they win with their bat, but they never put it together. I think this is a potentially good team. I also am starting to understand that they could wind up floating at .500 for the first month or two of the season. I think we'd like it to be easly just once, but I don't think this is that year.

That which dreams are made of

I had the Cub fan's dream last night. Prior wasn't hurt as bad as we'd thought. He was, in fact, returning very soon. At least I didn't dream about being at Wrigley Field, or of the World Series. I guess sometimes happy dreams can just be taunting for a Cub fan - no matter how often we dream about the team having great success, we still have to wake up to reality.

Clement is a slow starter but he needs to give at least a mediocre performance today. The offense needs to score 4-6 runs. Otherwise, trouble looms.

OUCH

A couple of things.

1) Don't get so caught up on Maddux's rocky start. This happened last year. The man will make the adjustments and win his 15, just like usual.

2) Andy Pratt makes me long for the days of Felix Heredia, Mel Rojas, and Antonio Alfonseca. You know it's bad when half way through an outing you're like, screaming into the air "El Puplo, where art thou!"

More about tomorrow's game later today.

WELL, AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE READ MY BLOG

On my last post I mentioned that I was going away for Thanksgiving. Now that I know I have two readers...

I spent Easter with my girlfriend. I got back today - saw parts of all three Cub games, including the last three innings of the first game of the series, and the majority of the other two.

About the first game: I'm glad they won, but I don't think they deserved to. WAY too many stranded runners.

Second game: Very frustrating. I couldn't believe that Dusty went with Pratt. To me he looks like a malnourished white Ehtiopan, or maybe part Asian.

Third game: Kerry Wood. 'nuff said.

Memories

I can't help but wonder if this is common with Cub fans. I've come to realize that I have almost no memories of last year. It's like my mind has repressed the entire 2003 campaign because it's too painful to think about. I mean, when someone says that the Marlins scored 8 runs in the 8th to win Game 6, I think "they did?"

It's somewhat frustrating because last year WAS a great year, with a lot of incredible memories. Hopefully '04 will be different.

WAIT TIL NEXT GAME

So, the Cubs have started the season 1-2. Big deal. Tonight they move on to Atlanta where hopefully the warm Georgia weather will encourage Cub bats to come alive.

I won't be around for the series, so no updates probably until Sunday night or Monday morning. I'll be off to my girlfriend's house celebrating Thanksgiving with her very Catholic family. If that means I have to go to Sunday Mass... *shakes fist*

Anyway, I'm off. Hopefully the Cubs will be back over .500 by my return.

CUBS vs. REDS: END GAME

Matt Clement 2003: 201.2 IP, 14-12, 4.11 ERA
Jose Acevedo 2003: 27 IP, 2-0, 2.67 ERA

Storyline: Matt Clement begins what will probably be his final season with the Cubs. Clement has always been viewed as having a tremendous amount of potential, but has never really achieved it. In a sense he is stylistically a different kind of Kerry Wood.

Pitching for the Reds is youngster Jose Acevedo. The Reds are putting a lot of weight on Acevedo's shoulders - he's never thrown more than 96 innings in a season but he is slotted to be the #3 guy in a very shakey Reds rotation. Acevedo has possibly the best stuff of any Reds pitcher and is looking to have his breakout year in 2004.

Prognosis: Clement had a very shaky spring training and is looking to right the ship in the first game that counts. Sammy Sosa remains hitless in the '04 campaign. If the Cubs lose today you'll see comments by pundits saying that "this is the reason April doesn't count," and while that's true a victory today remains important. Look for an erratic affair that will ultimately be decided by the bullpen. The Cubs will probably win, but Doom and Gloom is forbidden if they drop to 1-2.

1-1

Not to tickle my own ego, but again I was right in that I said I suspect that if the Cubs lose a game in this series, it'll be this one. But hey, that's ok folks. It just means that Maddux might win his first game back as a Cub in Wrigley Field.

Mad-Dog only gave up four hits on the game, but four hits is all you need when two are for homeruns. Meanwhile the Cubs continue their season streak of not being shut out in a game thanks to a Derek Lee solo shot in the 9th. They're already up to two games.

Rumors and innuendo

So my brother's best friend lives in Illinois, and he works in a corrections facility. Apparently one of the inmates there used to be a PCP dealer. Well, according to my brother's friend, the PCP dealer knows ANOTHER PCP dealer still out on the street who sold Sammy some drugs last October after the Cubs fell out of contention. I didn't want to believe it's true, but after Sammy's poor start I have to believe he is clearly on drugs.

And in case you're wondering what this is all about, scroll down a couple of posts and read the comments section.

CUBS vs. REDS: GAME TWO

Greg Maddux 2003: 218.1 IP, 16-11, 3.96 ERA Spring Training: 23.0 IP, 1-2, 3.91 ERA
Paul Wilson 2003: 166 IP, 8-10, 4.63 ERA Spring Training: 29.1 IP, 1-2, 5.22 ERA

Storyline: After winning the first game of the season 7-4, the Cubs look to win their first series by sending Greg Maddux to the mound. It will be Maddux's first game as a Cub since 1992, when he left Chicago with his newly acquired Cy Young Award for the greener fields of Atlanta. Looking for their first hits of the season today are Sammy Sosa and Alex Gonzalez.

The Reds are looking to even the score. It's quite possible that should the Reds fail to win this game, they'll never even reach .500 on the season. Paul Wilson starts. He has a history of bad blood with the Cubs, and as mentioned on Monday, there's a chance that the benches will clear in this game, especially since Wilson was personally involved in last year's altercation. However it's unlikely to happen so early in the season unless the Cubs blow out the Reds early in this game.

Prognosis: Maddux should put up a solid six innings, although if last year is any indication he may start slowly. Last season Maddux started the year 0-3 with an ERA of 11.05. I wouldn't expect Maddux to get rocked by the Reds, but it is possible that this will be another high scoring affair. I suspect that if the Cubs lose a game in this series, it'll be this one. Also I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that Sammy's first hit of the season will be a homerun.

WHAT IF?

I think this will be the last Mark Prior post I make until we know for sure one way or the other about his return to baseball this season.

But I was thinking on the way home from work.... what if the Cubs lose Prior for the year? What happens to the team? Would Sergio or Andy Pratt be the #5 pitcher? Would the Cubs utterly fall from contention, and instead of competing for a pennant, would they have to settle for competing to finish over .500?

I say no. I say the Cubs could still win, and win big. How, you ask? Two words:

Angel Guzman.

He's not ready yet. I think he won't even be ready to pitch at West Tennessee until May. But let's just say he picks up where he left off last year. Let's say he stands up to the hype. Isn't it possible that by mid June or July he could be ready to pitch at Wrigley Field? If so, his talent could be enough to carry a Prior-less Cubs.

And hey, if Prior returns and Guzman proves ready, that makes Matt Clement trade fodder come July.

Regardless, it might not be as dire as it looks, no matter how bad it actually is.

OFF DAY

I think it's a relatively new tradition, and I still can't get used to the off day that immediately follows opening day.

I'm wearing my Dawson jersey today. Earlier, at the dentist's, the secretary said "are you really a Cubs fan?" And I said "hell yes." The dentist said "The Cubs? Who are they?" I said, "They're the best baseball team in America." While we'll have to wait and see on that, it felt good saying it and it felt even better knowing that it may come to be true.

It's very possible that should the Cubs enjoy another playoff berth this season, they may come to be America's Team. While it's annoying to encounter newbie fans - they can't possibly understand our pain, so why should they get to delight in our pleasure? - it's also enjoyable to see our team possibly surpass even the Yankees as the most loved team in baseball. Of course, that means they may also come to be the most hated, but what's so bad about that?

Later tonight I'll post about tomorrow's game.

Godspeed, Fork

I noticed earlier today that Forklift's blog has vanished. I also snuck over to the Cubs Coven. (yes, I admit it, on very rare occasions I still visit the Coven, and knowing I'm not welcome there makes me feel like Moses standing outside the Promise Land) There, I found that Stew has noted that Fork quit the group. Forklift has a history of taking a break from the sports life whenever the temptations to gamble become too strong, and I hope that wherever he is, he's doing well.

1-0

At times it was ugly, at times it was brilliant. In the end, the Cubs walked away from opening day with a victory.

I was actually both right and wrong. Wood did in fact get chased after five, but the Cubs offense was awake today and the team scored 7 runs on 10 hits. Two thoughts about Wood: 1) it's not wholly surprising that he continues to struggle in the middle innings, although I think he'll buckle down as the season progresses. 2) I'm actually surprised that he didn't go out for the sixth inning. Baker likes to use his starters and Wood was pulled after only 92 pitches but I wouldn't call it a trend just yet.

Corey Patterson has continued to prove that he is fully recovered from knee surgery by hitting a homerun in his first at bat of the season. He also drew a walk. Patterson tends to be a hot starter, so regardless of how good he may perform in April, I won't feel entirely confident in his production until the end of May.

Another thing I was happy about was Moises Alou's clutch hitting today. To me Alou represents the ideal clutch man, and his two out, three-run double in the third proved to be the difference in the game.

Finally Joe Borowski may be turning into Rod Beck this season. If it's true that he's lost a few mph on his fastball, he still managed to come in and get it done in the 9th with two k's. However, before it was all over Borowski put the tying run at the plate. Once again, it's way too early to be a trend but if Borowski has lost some oomph on the heater, we may see a return of the Cardiac Cubs this summer where every 9th inning is a nail biter.

Tomorrow is an off day, and then Maddux faces Paul Wilson on Wednesday. Wouldn't it be nice for Mad Dog to win his first game back in a Cubs uniform?

CUBS vs. REDS

Kerry Wood: 2003: 211 IP, 14-11, 3.20 ERA 266 k's Spring Training: 25.2 IP, 5-0, 1.05 ERA
Corey Liddle: 2003: 192.2 IP, 12-15, 5.75 ERA Spring Training: 17 IP, 1-0, 2.65 ERA

Storyline: Coming off their best baseball season in nearly 20 years, the Cubs enter the 2004 campaign as the national favorites to win the World Series. Returning to Chicago is Future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux. Maddux is 11 wins away from having 300 for his career. He last pitched for the Cubs in 1992. Missing from action is Mark Prior, suffering from an inflamation in the heel and arm, as well as from back spasms. He may be back by mid May. Looking to improve upon a controversal '03 campaign is Future Hall of Famer Sammy Sosa. Sammy missed nearly a month of play last year due to a suspension for corking his bat and an injury to his big toe.

The Reds start their second year in a new ballpark coming off one of the worst pitching campaigns in recent history. The team ERA was over 5 on the year and they finished 19 games behind the first place Cubs. Ken Griffey Jr is trying to put together his first fully healthy season in three years while battling the ongoing rumors of a potential trade. Team captain Barry Larkin returns for what should be a last hurrah before riding off into retirement.

There is also a small chance of a brawl in this game. Last year Reds pitcher Paul Wilson found himself on the ground bleeding after an altercation with Cubs reliever Kyle Farnsworth. Wilson is slated to start the second game for Cincinnati, but I think it's unlikely that he'll go headhunting.

Prognosis: There's no reason why Kerry Wood wouldn't carry his spring training success into the regular season, well, except for the fact that he's a Cub. The Curse dictates that Wood gets chased after five, but if Wood is in fact becoming the Cy Young pitcher we always thought he'd be, then it should be a relatively easy outing for him. Furthermore, Wood is 10-2 with a 2.32 ERA against the Reds in 15 career starts.

I for one am bitter that I won't get to watch this game on tv. I'll have to follow from the computer at work, and hope that Ruz has a game chat going like he did during much of last season.

HOW TO BE A CUBS JOURNALIST

Ambitious Cub fans everywhere like little Tommy want to know: how can I write about the Cubs like my favorite journalists? Well Tommy, being a journalist is hard, and it's especially harder to be a Cubs journalist. But here are a few helpful tips:

*When writing about Dusty Baker, make sure to mention that he's being matriculated in Cubs history, so he knows about the team's relationship with losing, much as he knows about and doesn't believe in curses.

*When writing about Sammy Sosa, consider being very critical of him in order to appeal to the harder edged Cub fans like the Uncouth Sloth. If guys like the Sloth like you, you're well on your way. Also, at least once a month write a story about the boombox.

*When the team has a poor outlook, spend Spring Training writing about surprise players and how the Cubs are looking like they will shape up well and compete in the central. When the Cubs have a strong outlook, write about how Cub fans are reluctant to trust the team and believe they will win. Pretend there is no corrolation between Cub fans' bitter point of view and your optimistic articles from when you knew the Cubs had no chance in hell of competing.

*Write at least one article a week about the strong farm system. Ignore that Corey Patterson remains the only offensive force on the team that it has produced.

*Most important of all, use as many cliche headlines as you possibly can. If Kerry Wood wins the game with a homerun, your headline should be "Kerry puts Wood on the ball." If Derek Lee hurts his hamstring, your headline should be "Lee hopes injury doesn't string team along." And of course, if Angel Guzman looks like he's ready to be promoted, your headline should be "Guzman looks like an Angel from heaven." Remember: the lamer the title, the better it is.

Any questions?

OPENING DAY BLOGAPALOOZA

I think Cub fans have been geared up for opening day since mid October of last year. Say what you will about the heartbreak of the '03 post season, but it has bread a new generation of Cub fans. The future looks bright 2004 is going to be the first year more than 3 million people attend Wrigley (something people thought would never happen in such a small park).

Al Yellon blogged poignantly yesterday about how the ending of 2003 is just now hitting him. I also like that he's pointed out that this year, we're not sneaking up on anyone. They know we're coming.

Over at the Northside Lounge, Scott has already written up a series preview against the Reds, thus making anything I do today obsolete.

Just a reminder, one of the best blogs of 2003 was The Waveland Chronicles, which has changed its link for 2004. Update your links if you haven't already.

Over at the Tribune, Phil Rogers writes about the stars being perfectly aligned for the Cubs AND White Sox, while jerk Rick Morrissey writes that the Cubs could and SHOULD win without Prior, and Mike Kiley writes that the 2003 season is going to be a tough act to follow for the 2004 Cubs. Also of interest is LaTroy Hawkins, who according to Kiley is a crazy MoFo who likes to TURN UP Sammy's boom box when it's too quiet.

Although it IS redundant, I'm going to try to get a series preview out before gametime today.

WHAT A HANGOVER!

I think I'll never drink vodka again! But wow, I had the strangest dream. I had grown tired of the Cubs, their curse, and all the things that come with it. I decided I'd become a...a.... a White Sox fan instead! Damn, that would be terrible!

*pauses to look at blog*

*vomits*

So, now that I'm sober again, I've come to my senses and am a Cubs fan only.

If you missed what I did this past weekend, I've immortalized it here, at the White Sox Nation. The blog is looking for an owner, so if you know an intelligent White Sox fan with a lot to say, EMail me.

Things I missed

Happily, today is opening day, although you couldn't tell from looking outside. We had a minor snowstorm yesterday. I can't say for sure, but for some reason this feels like covered territory - I would guess that I've seen my fair share of snowy opening days. Over the weekend a few things happened - the Cubs signed LHP Glendon Rusch and 2B/OF Damian Jackson, they announced their 12th pitcher as being Mike "Who?" Wuertz, and Scott "Danger Man" McClain took off for Japan.

I'll probably post a couple of times more today. I sincerely hope the Cubs dominate the Reds, and am saddened that I will not be able to watch the game due to work. I think ever since '97, Cub fans have an unnatural fear of what happens when you start off with a loss. We're silly that way.

RAMDON THINKS

When my Mommy gest out of jail, shes gonna taek me to alot of games! I love siting on the frist base side! I like to yell at teh first base couch from the ospozing team, cuz hes always a homosapien lovin prick! I hear Dusty Bakers sister is a thesipan to!

Anyway, my dad was on Springer yesturday cuz of how he imperginatted my sistre AND her best freind.

I know tihs is ramdon, but I really wanna finish the fifth grade someday. Im wokring on my ninth atempt.

VIEW FROMM A SOX FAN

Hey y'all. The Sox are grat! Their gonna finnish in FRIST playce this yere!

I hope the Cubs play REELY SUCKY! There assholes! Mike Prior is gonna miss the whole sezon! Kerry Woods will blow out his elbl... his albb... his... his arm again. Sammy Sosa is a BIG FAT CHEETER! Hez gonna get cauvt doin starroyds! Then eh'll have to quite the game in desc... daskra... shame. He'll have to quite the game in shame.

No one is as good as Frak Thomas! He's the BIG HURT cuz he puts a BIG HUTRING on the ospozition.

GO SOX! GO XOS! GO SOX! GO SOX! GO SOX! YAH! YEAH! YEAH!

NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN IT

The majority of the props have to go to my girlfriend, who designed the blog for me. I'll probably keep it up through the weekend, at which point I may create a genuine White Sox Nation blog. The blog would not be maintained, but just basically be a shrine to my April Fool's joke. However should I ever actually come across a literate Sox fan intelligent enough to run a blog (I know, I know, fat chance) I'd be happy to hand it over to him, and link him.

I'm actually still unsure on whether I want to do mock White Sox stories through the weekend, or go back to reporting on the Cubs. I guess I'll have my mind made up by the next post. Anyway, thanks for the props, I hope I get a few more comments about it before I switch back to my other design.

WELCOME TO THE NEXT ERA

After 24 years, I can no longer call myself a Cub fan. After facing all the disappointments, all the defeats, I'm done.

But it's ok. After considerable research, I discovered that Chicago - the city I love above all others (sorry, Toronto, but I love you too), in fact has another baseball team! In fact, they have been around for more than one hundred years!! Indeed, it is a team with a storied history - Shoeless Joe Jackson played for this wonderful team, and today they have a guy who was once viewed as one of the great modern sluggers, Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas! They even made the Series as recent as 1995!

So, not only could I still watch baseball in the city I love, but I could even attend more ballgames due to the lack of overall fan interest. Furthermore, I no longer have to say that I root for the team who's gone the longest without a title. That there was the deal breaker.

What's that? The White Sox haven't won since 1917? And "1995" is a typo? It in fact hasn't been since 1959? ...well... well... shit!

Ah well. April fools, folks.