The first Wrigley Experience

The ironic thing is that long before I was a Cubs fan, I used to dream of taking trips to Chicago. It seemed to always be my favorite city as a child. I was 18, less than a week removed from graduating high school. As a graduation present, my oldest sister rented a convertable, and her, her boyfriend, my oldest friend, and my brother all drove to Chicago to catch a game against the Diamondbacks (the brother was taking his truck). The entire experience was phenominal. We spent a night in Warsaw, Indiana, before cramming into the convertable and driving onward to Chicago. Things you don't want to know: my brother had a Navy-wide reputation for the stench of his farts. Things you are now curious about: yes, it was deserved.

The best part about driving around Chicago in late June in a convertable was the ability to sit back, look up, and see the skyscrappers reaching into the night. The next day we went to Wrigley Field for the first time. I'd never seen the Chicago Cubs sign on the back of the scoreboard before. Outside the park I met Jay Erhlich, an old friend from an AOL message board. Jay had been a vender in '84, and was breaking a self-imposed boycott of the team to see a game with me.

Once inside we climbed up the winding path toward the bleachers. Jay didn't buy me an Old Style - I was 18, after all. But he bought one for my sister, and if she gave it directly to me, who was he to stop her? Yes, the field was amazing. So green, just like what I'd seen all those years on TV but brighter, and better. We sat in the center part of the bleachers - too high up to catch a ball; still close enough to see it unfold.

Kerry Wood was pitching that day. It must've been just a month and a half after his 20k game, and it was absurd. He owned the D-Backs that day, striking out 12 before giving the game over to the Shooter, Rod Beck. To be honest the game just seemed to fly by. I spent it dividing my time between it and talking to Jay, and by the time Beck came in to make it interesting (and he did, he always allowed one or two guys on base before closing it out) I could've sworn only 6 innings had been played.

My first Cubs game was a victory for the team. Jay had us hang around to take pictures of the scoreboard and field; to watch the W flag raised into the sky. To my surprise I came back later that year - for game three against the Braves.

Wrigley Field is the Valhallah of baseball. I've been elsewhere but nothing compares to the ambiance, the atmosphere, the beauty, everything. I've been to other places, but I've never seen a better game than at Wrigley Field.

Wait til THIS year! (conclusion)

And now for the most anticipated part:

The Rotation

Lost: Shawn Estes 152.3 IP, 8-11, 5.73 ERA

Why we won't miss him: To paraphrase Bull Durham - what's his record? 8-11. 8-11?! How did he ever win 8? It's a miracle! It's a god-damn miracle. Removing Estes from the rotation is enough to win the team another 5 games on a season. He was beyond terrible.

Returning: Mark Prior 211.3 IP, 18-6, 2.43 ERA, 245 k's
Kerry Wood 211 IP, 14-11, 3.20 ERA, 266 k's
Carlos Zambrano 214 IP, 13-11, 3.11 ERA, 168 k's
Matt Clement 201.7 IP, 14-12, 4.11 ERA, 171 K's

Why they're the best rotation in the NL: When your #4 pitcher went 14-12 with a 4.11 ERA, you know your team is good. Prior is almost certainly going to flat out dominate next year, and I still believe that Wood has some 20-win seasons in him. Zambrano acted his (supposed) age in the playoffs, but the's still a winner and could grow into another top notch pitcher. All told this is quite possibly the best rotation I've ever seen for the Cubs.

Unanswered: Juan Cruz 61 IP, 2-7, 6.05 ERA, 65 k's
or Greg Maddux? 218.1 IP, 16-11, 3.96 ERA

Cruz has incredible potential (gah, that dirty word). He has lights-out dominated everywhere he's been, except for the major leagues. Maddux is only the best pitcher of our era, with the possible exception of Roger Clemens. Cruz is reaching that make-or-break point; the Cubs are going to give up on him if he fails to perform. Maddux is reaching the end of a Hall of Fame career that started on the north side of Chicago. It would be a feel-good story for Maddux to win his 300th with the Cubs, it would be a feel BETTER story if Cruz developed into the next Pedro Martinez like people have claimed was possible. Me, I hope the Cubs sign Maddux and put Cruz in the pen. Sooner or later, he'll crack the rotation - and sooner if the Cubs don't resign Clement (or better yet, deal him sometime this season). With all that in mind:

Important stats: 10-1, 1.52 ERA - Mark Prior's post-break record. 4.90 K/BB, Mark Prior. 10.43 K/9, Mark Prior. .632 OPS against, Mark Prior. 2.66 K/BB, Kerry Wood. 11.35 K/9, Kerry Wood. 6.52 OPS against, Kerry Wood. .157 AVG against, with runners in scoring position, Kerry Wood (only .028 with a runner on second). .183 AVG against, with runners in scoring position, Mark Prior (.095 AVG with a .091 OBP with runners on first and third). .653 OPS against, Carlos Zambrano. 9 HR against, Carlos Zambrano. 4 HR against in the post season, Carlos Zambrano. 23.67, the average age of the three young aces on the Cubs.

Wood and Prior are clutch. I know that Prior is elevated above Wood - he's a better, younger pitcher. But I think the two elevate each other. Even more than that, if - and it's a BIG if - the offense holds up, if Wood and Prior stay healthy, this could be the first of several seasons in which they both win 20 or more games. If - and it also is a big if - Maddux signs, then the Cubs have head and shoulders the best rotation in all of baseball, coupled with at least two other pitchers sitting in the bullpen or the minor leagues waiting for their chance to also dominate at the major league level this year (Cruz and Guzman).

Kurt's Pointless Projections: Prior: 20-7, 2.25 ERA, 275 k's in 220 IP 14 hit batters
Wood: 17-11, 2.90 ERA, 300 k's in 215 IP 22 hit batters
Zambrano: 15-10, 3.35 ERA 11 hit batters
Clement: 14-10, 3.95 ERA, 200 k's in 212 IP, 12 hit batters
# of bench clearing brawls: 1
reason for so few brawls: fear of the beating that accompanies screwing with guys the size of Prior, Wood, Zambrano, and even Farnsworth.

Kurt's Official Prediction for 2004: 78-84. Yes, I know, if you add up the wins of the starters alone, you get 66, and that isn't even counting the possibility of Maddux or Cruz as the #5... but I'm serious man, any time I've predicted a winning season, they get trounced. So, you've heard it here first. In 2004, the Cubs will win 78 games.

Now get to it!

Wait til THIS year! (pt 4)

How to tell a GREAT blog from a LAME blog: While the Cub Fan Nation blog reviews the team for the upcoming year, the Cub Reporter has in depth analysis on the prospects within the system. It's like, just when you think you're doing ok, someone kicks you in the kidneys. Repeatedly. Go check the Cub Reporter NOW for the first part of that article.

The Bullpen

Lost: Dave Veres 32.7 IP, 2-1, 4.68 ERA
Mark Guthrie 42.7 IP, 2-3, 2.74 ERA
Antonio Alfonseca 66.3 IP, 3-1, 5.83 ERA

Why we won't miss them: Well, I liked Guthrie, if only because he was from Buffalo and was relatively consistant except for the last week or two of the season. However Alfonseca is a flaming shitbag who isn't even deserving of a garbage pile, and Veres was injury-prone and inconsistant.

New: LaTroy Hawkins 77.1 IP, 9-3, 1.86 ERA, 75 k's
Kent Merker: 55.1 IP, 0-2, 1.95 ERA

Why we're glad they're here: LaTroy is a Cubs fan and a dominating pitcher (how often does THAT happen?!) I've got a slightly bad feeling because when fans tend to come home and play for their favorite teams, things tend to go badly (see: Todd Hundley). Merker is far less likely to perform well - I am expecting him to flop. But regardless, these guys will improve the bullpen - a fair weakness the Cubs had last year.

Returning: Kyle Farnsworth 76.3 IP, 3-2, 3.30 ERA, 92 k's
Mike Remlinger 69 IP, 6-5, 3.65 ERA, 83 k's
Joe Borowski 68.3 IP, 2-2, 2.63 ERA, 66 k's, 33 S
???

Why we're glad they didn't leave: All sorts of people are glad for all sorts of reasons. Women are glad that Farnsworth is still around because there are still roughly 800,000 women in Chicago who didn't get pregnant last year. Guys are glad that Borowski is back because he's a feel good story with a working-man mentality, and we're glad Remlinger is back because who else throws a 3-2 changeup on Giambi with the bases juiced?

Important stats: .196 AVG against - Kyle Farnsworth. I think he was the only pitcher in the game last year that was as hard to hit by righties AND lefties. 4.31 - Kyle's ERA after the All Star Break - nearly 2 runs higher than his pre-break ERA. 2.48 ERA - Remlinger's ERA after the break, 2 runs LOWER than his pre-break ERA. 0.75, 0.93 - the ERAs of Mercker in August and September.

They're better, they're stronger, and we no longer have to rely on Kyle Farnsworth as our righty in clutch situations. There are questions about the other reliever - Juan Cruz? Todd Wellmeyer? I for one am guessing Cruz, as I am also guessing a Maddux return. Will Merker pitch well? Is LaTroy a clutch pitcher or just the black Kyle Farnsworth?

Kurt's Pointless Projections: Cruz - 4.00 ERA, 70 k's in 65 innings
Merker: 4.35 ERA, 60 IP
Farnsworth: 2.95 ERA, 105 k's 72 IP
Remlinger: 3.25 ERA, 90 k's in 70 IP
Hawkins: 2.65 ERA, 80 k's in 70 IP
Borowsi: 3.60 ERA, 65 k's in 70 IP, 35 saves

Tomorrow, the rotation (yes, I saved the best for last)

Wait til THIS Year! (pt 3)

Left Field:

Returning: Moises Alou 151 (!) games, 22 HR, 91 RBI, .280 AVG, .357 OBP

Important stats: .313 AVG with runners on, .516 AVG with a man on 3rd with less than two outs, -.37 difference in batting average from the first and second halves of the season.

I'll be honest. I like Moises Alou. I liked it when the Cubs signed him, and while he proved to be unworthy of the contract they gave, he was a solid player in '03. I think he redeemed himself last year, and he seems to have this intensity when he plays. It seems that if the opposing team pisses him off, the next day he's going to put up big numbers. With all that in mind, I think he will disappoint in '04. He turns 38 in July. His numbers dropped drastically after the All Star break. Regardless, I'm ok with him as our LF, but I'm not expecting '03 numbers.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: 124 games played, .275 AVG, 17 HR, 70 RBI, 2 moments of rage after identifying Steve Bartman in the crowd at Wrigley Field.

Center Field:

Returning: Corey Patterson 83 games, 13 HR, 55 RBI, 16 Steals, .298 AVG, .329 OBP

Important stats: 15 BB, .340 AVG w. runners on

C-Pat may be in position to make or break the Cubs offense this coming season. After flopping in '02, Patterson was brilliant at times in '03. He exited '03 early with a torn knee ligament, and if (big IF) he returns at 100%, he has blazing speed and a good bat. What he doesn't have is the ability to take a pitch, and I suspect it will be proven accurate that he's more like Shawon Dunston than Ken Griffey Jr. However he does have the capability to hit the long ball and infuse the offense. If he plays at the potential he showed last year, he could be the Cubs first real answer to center field since Andy Pafko.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .310 AVG, 26 HR, 90 RBI, 25 SB, 44 times the Sloth and Forklift will shudder when I refer to Patterson as "C-Pat."

Right Field:

Returning: Sammy Sosa 137 games, 40 HR, 103 RBI, .279 AVG, .358 OBP

Important stats: Post-All Star AVG: .245. .243 AVG close and late. 1 TCC (Times Caught Cheating)

Clearly I have negative thoughts about Sammy Sosa. I also understand that his bat is important to the Cubs lineup. Much as C-Pat (waits for the shudder) could make or break the offense, a poor showing by Sosa would definitely hurt the team's standings. I don't think he's really slowing down with age, however. I think his average was .245 after the break because he was slumping, desperate, and pressing to get his 40 homeruns and 100 RBI. This year will be telling for Sammy. If he struggles, stick a fork in him. If he returns to form then I would have to believe he has a good shot at breaking Aaron's record. Personally, in a winning atmosphere with attention (positive and negative) directed to our rotation, Sammy might perform better.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .290 AVG, 50 HR, 140 RBI, 77 times bombarded on the road by cork, 133 times the Sloth calls him a cork-loading, steroid popping piece of shit

The Bench:

C Paul Bako (lefty)
IF Ramon Martinez (righty)
OF Todd Hollandsworth (lefty)
OF Tom Goodwin (lefty)
Super-Sub Jose Macias (switch)

I'm not going to do a guy-by-guy analysis. I do think that the bench is well-rounded. Bako is no superman with a bat, niether is Macias. But Martinez, Hollandsworth, and Goodwin all have hitting skill. In fact many fans (myself included) might argue that Ramon Martinez should be starting at shortstop. Likewise Todd Hollandsworth aught to provide the ability to sub for Moises and Sammy any time - he can put up starter numbers.

So, I'm going to give official pre-season grades for the lineup/bench.

Position '03 '04
Catcher D D
First B- B+
Second C+ B
Short D D- (points lost because they didn't even try to fix this)
Third B B+
Left B B-
Center B+ B+
Right B B+

Bench C B

All told, they don't look that bad. There are still question marks, but let's be realistic. There will always be question marks. The ones this year, however, aren't nearly as big as those in years passed.

Tomorrow: The Pen and Rotation

Wait til THIS Year! (pt 2)

Shortstop:

Returning: Alex Gonzalez 152 games, 20 HR, 59 RBI, .228 AVG, .295 OBP

Important stats: 47 BB, 127 K's, take away his April and he batted .212.

Alex's nickname should be A-O, short or Automatic Out. I was very hopeful that the Cubs would find a way to replace him, but unfortunately he will be a Cub for one more season. The only benefit: Gonzalez is great defensively. As absurd as it sounds, were I managing the Cubs, on any day Walker plays second, I'd have Grudz play short, and vice versa. (Except it would effect the defense, possibly drastically).

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .225 AVG, 16 HR, 55 RBI, 136 grief-stricken moments caused by Gonzo during the season due to his suckfest.

Third Base:

Returning: Aramis Ramirez 232 at bats (as a Cub), 15 HR, 39 RBI, .259 AVG, .314 OBP

Important stats: .282 AVG at Wrigley Field, .293 AVG with runners on, .357 AVG with bases loaded.

Aramis reminds me a lot of a young Sammy Sosa, at least offensively. I doubt he'll ever bloom into a 60 homerun guy, but he does have a lot of potential to hit well, and he could be The Answer to Ron Santo at third (even if I doubt he'll ever have a tenth of Ronnie's heart. That isn't a criticism of Aramis, it's a compliment of Santo).

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .280 AVG, 32 HR, 105 RBI, 45 heart-stopping plays at third as we still don't trust his defense.

Tomorrow, the outfield.

Wait til THIS Year!

Well, it's still close to a month before Spring Training starts, but for the most part the Cubs roster is set in stone for the '04 season. Time to take a look at the team position by position and see how they compare.

Catcher:

Last Year: Damien Miller 114 games, 9 HR, 36 RBI, .233 AVG, .310 OBP
This year: Michael Barrett 70 games, 10 HR, 30 RBI, .208 AVG, .280 OBP

Important stats: Barrett's AVG was 40 points higher on the road. Also, he had a fantastic July: .333 avg in 51 at bats, hit 4 homeruns and drove in 15 RBI.

Barrett is the newest member of the Automatic Out Duo, joining Alex Gonzalez at the bottom of the Cubs lineup where rallies will be killed and games will be ended with runners left in scoring position. The only positive to Barrett is that he theoretically could hit 20 or more homeruns now that he doesn't play half his games in pitcher-friendly Montreal. However it's too little to really be happy with - Barrett is just the next of a long line of flub catchers who are apparently born to disappoint Cub fans. The only good news is that he's not Todd Hundley. In fact, comparatively, Barrett is a godsend. It's good to know that with Hundley, the Cubs hit rock bottom. It'll never be as bad again.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .220 AVG, 16 HR, 40 RBI, 364 batteries thrown at him by frustrated fans.

First Base:

Last Year: Simon-Karros-Choi 641 AB 26 HR, 89 RBI, .264 AVG, .335 OBP
This Year: Derek Lee 155 games, 31 HR, 92 RBI, 21 SB, .271 AVG, .379 OBP

Important stats: Lee's batting average was more than 50 points higher on the road, and he hit 20 of his 31 homeruns away from Florida. He drew 88 walks and showed considerable speed at a position where most guys would be lucky to steal five bases.

Lee could turn into the single best offensive improvement made by the Cubs in years. He wasn't who anyone thought we'd get, but if he brings his bat with him he could be a drastic upgrade at first. At the beginning of the free agency period, I'd hoped that Lee was the first of at least three upgrades, but instead he's turned out to be the only real improvement the Cubs made in their lineup.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: .285 AVG, 35 HR, 115 RBI, 15 SB, 3 attempted muggings by Korean fans angry that he replaced Choi.

Second Base:

Returning: Mark Grudzielanek 121 games, 3 HR, 38 RBI, .314 AVG, .366 OBP
Also aquired: Todd Walker 144 games, 13 HR, 85 RBI, .283 AVG, .333 OBP

Important stats: Grudz batted .360 against lefties with at .444 OBP but he had 0 homeruns and only 4 RBI against them in 100 at bats. Walker batted .301 against righties with a .352 OBP. Seems like a good combo to me.

I'd be a bit nervous about Grudz reverting to Pre-'03 form, but with Walker also on the team, there's a bit of insurance. Walker signed with the Cubs, and for less money than offered elsewhere, because he says he wants to win.

Kurt's Pointless Projection: Grudz: .290 AVG (only because most of his at bats will come against lefties), 1 HR, 23 RBI, 33 times Chip Caray will mangle his name during the season. Walker: .295 AVG, 12 HR, 65 RBI

I'll do short and third later today, and probably the OF as well.

Shell-Shocked Cub Nation

If you head over to the baseball section of the ESPN site, they have a poll right now asking which team is most likely to make the post season... the O's, Blue Jays, Royals, Rockies, and Padres, I believe. The Cubs were left off the survey. Why? Because most experts don't think they MIGHT make the post season, most experts think they WILL make it.

And that has to be the singular best metaphor for what's going on in the Cub Fan Nation right now. Even the experts - who we typically shun for not giving the franchise enough props - look at our amazing pitching staff and improved lineup and give credit where it is due. Have we fans ever been in this place before? Maybe in '85, I imagine the Cubs were expected to compete then. But how quickly in '85 did everything fall apart? Wasn't it over by the end of May?

In my mind I can just see fans walking around outside of Wrigley before a game with this dazed look on their faces, and were you or I to walk up to them and say "what's up," they might respond with "...they're... they're expected to WIN!"

Otherwise, every good year the Cubs have had in MY lifetime came as a surprise. With that in mind, I think Wrigley Field could be a LOT of fun this year because they're good and we KNOW they're good. And if they hold it together - God, such a big IF! - I have a feeling attendance could top 3 million for the first time ever.

It's like we're that kid at the lunch line who never gets the pizza. Well guess what baby, this time there are four slices left and we're SECOND in line, and you can bet your ass we're gonna gloat and pick on the kids behind us who get no pizza. MWA-HAHAHA! *sigh*

Ryan "Cans-Only" Dempster

(I swear that joke made sense in my head). Following in the tradition of Todd Van Popple, Mike Siorka, and a dozen other players in the last decade or so, Ryan Dempster has become the latest Cubs reclamation project. The big difference between this year and previous ones is that the Cubs aren't putting any hopes on Dempster. If he pulls it off and pitches well, great, if not, it's not going to hurt the team.

Dempster will be 27 this coming season. In his best season in 2000, he was Wood-like with a 14-10 record, 3.66 ERA and 209 k's to 97 bb's.

Last year he went 3-7 with a 6.54 ERA in 20 starts for the Reds. Hopefully it was because of the arm damage, not the suckiness.

What I want to know is, what ever happened to Jon Lieber with the Yankees? They signed him, I'd thought, with the intentions of him stepping up after losing Clemens and possibly others. However as far as I know, the Yankees rotation is essentially set and Lieber is forgotten about. I tried to see if he rehabilitated in the minors last year but I saw no statistics. Anyone more in the know have any idea what's happened with him?

How to win the World Series in 2004

Very simple. I genuinely want to see this happen.

Phase One: On every road game, send a guy in with a pet goat (tickets bought for both). They are both to be denied their seats - along the third base line.

Phase Two: Upon denial, curse the home team to forever be denied a World Series victory, and promptly hand third base line tickets over to Steve Bartman. During every bottom half of the inning (aka when the Cubs are in the field) Bartman must make (MUST MAKE) mandatory beer and pretzel runs.

Phase Three: For every home game, Steve Bartman must be denied admittance into the park.

Phase Four: Upon denial Bartman must bless the Cubs and promptly give up his tickets to some guy and his pet goat, who will be admitted into the park and have a free run of the place.

And this is how the Cubs shall break a curse.

T Minus

A guy goes away for the weekend, and what happens when he gets back? ...actually, practically nothing.

Things the Cubs did this weekend:

-Signed Joe Borowski to a two year deal at what, $4.8 million? I don't remember the exact details.

-Signed Kerry Wood to a one year, $9.75 million deal with hopes of locking him up long term before Spring Training.

-Signed Derek Lee to a one year, $6.95 million deal with a similar premise to what they did with Kerry.

-Threw one hell of a party in the light of Woodstock; ala too many people, not enough events, and probably incredibly huge lines to the toilets.

Maddux is NOT yet a Cub, but I suspect it's only a matter of time.

Back in my stupid optimist days (and really, Sloth, Forklift, am I wrong in thinking that I'm a different kind of fan these days?) I once concocted an idea similar to the home-town discount. (Ironic interjection: looks like Albert Pujols, 27, will not sign with the Cardinals for cheap. The 33-year-old vet recently said that he's worth a lot of money and expects to be paid for his offensive success. The team appears unworried that Pujols will start slowing down now that he's turning 36, and offered a 5 year 55 million dollar deal to the 38-year-old slugger. Seems that Pujols is taking one out of Sammy Sosa's book, whom Albert has at times said was "like a little brother to me. Of course the paternity suit means nothing; I know I'm not his father even if I *was* dating his mother back in our teenage years during the 1960's.") Anyway, I digress.

So, I had this idea of a winning-team discount. The way the market is these days, it's hard for a winning team in ANY city to be able to afford to keep all their stars. So perhaps, I thought, a player would be willing to sign with a better team for LESS. After all, it's about winning, right? So if you knew that signing with the Cubs meant a better chance at multiple post-seasons glory, you'd take 2 million less each year, rather than accept a monster contract from the grotesquely suckass Detroit Tigers. Right? Anyway, like I said, it was back in my stupid optimstic days. I know no player would accept that sort of deal.

Random, unrelated thought: there are times when I think I wouldn't even care if the Cubs finished first/made the post season so long as they trounced the Dead-birds in both the standings and in actual games. It'd be realllllllllllly fuckin' nice to see a year of utter domination over the Cards.

Getting ahead of myself

I spent the drive to work thinking about how, should Maddux sign, he should pitch opening day at Wrigley Field.

Looking at the '04 schedule, the Cubs open in Cincinnati, followed by a three game series in Atlanta, finally returning to Chicago on April 12th against the Pirates. It would mean Maddux would have to skip the Braves series, but if he started the second game of the season he would be scheduled to open the first home game of the year.

It's been a long time since I've seen a cold Maddux wearing a turtleneck under his uniform blowing hot air into his hand. It'd be kinda nice to see it again.

Maddux signing looms closer

Two years for 15 million according to the Sun-Times.

Is this really happening? I'm a very spiritual person - not as overtly as I used to be, but I am. When I was a bit younger I'd spend hours debating predestination, ultimate meaning, free will, and that sort of thing. This isn't to say I'm religious - I like religion about as much as Robert Downey Jr. likes a week without some smack, but when I think back on the 90's and what the Cubs could've been, I have no doubt in my mind that in a sense, they would've been better with Maddux. Might've won more games. Maybe even carried them to an additional post season appearnce.

That's why I'm glad he found his way to Atlanta.

I think as they are at this moment, the Cubs are on the cusp of something unlike any other Cubs team in the last 50 years or more. They have three - THREE - top-of-the-line pitchers. Had Greg Maddux never left, would the Cubs have been in the position to draft Kerry Wood, or even Mark Prior? Would they have won a World Series in the 90's? That much I seriously doubt. But Pudge or no Pudge, the Cubs are a healthy season away from dominating the National League, and here, near the end of his career possibly returns Greg Maddux, 11 wins away from 300, the best pitcher of his era, 37 years old and still pitching well.

I used to get in trouble with the Coven guys because aside from being an arrogant snob half the time, I used to say - no, I used to demand - that the Cubs not only win a World Series, but that they win a BUNCH of them. Well folks, I can't remember any other time in the span of my short life where they've had as much potential to do so.

But as far as that goes, I think "potential" should be a dirty word and still, if the Cubs somehow got Vlad and Pudge to acompany Maddux to Chicago, I'd still predict a 78 win season for next year because whenever I say they'll finish over .500, they don't.

With the Convention Looming

Anyone going to the Cubs Convention this year? Historically, aside from it being a rollicking good time the Cubs tend to give the fans a lil somethin extra. This year they're probably going to announce having locked up Kerry Wood to a 3 or 4 year deal. And if we're really lucky, they might also announce that Greg Maddux has decided to retire a Cub. While everyone - myself included - seems pretty enthusiastic about the idea, I do have a single reservation. Namely: Greg Maddux was made to break Cub fans' hearts.

It's possible - perhaps unlikely but certainly possible - that Greg Maddux will flop in 2004. We've seen in recent years that pitching has become a series of adjustments for Maddux, he's lost whatever little oomph he had on his fastball and in fact, he may be the only righty in baseball besides Tim Wakefield who can be accurately called "crafty." It would be painfully ironic if Maddux returns to Chicago and winds up a 12-12 guy with a 4.50 ERA at best.

With that possibility in mind - even if it was LIKELY, I'd still want the guy back in Chicago. I think half the reason he should return is for his intangibles, not for his possible pitching skills. And even if he only won 12 games next year... well, really he only needs 11, so that's fine with me.

For the stat heads out there, when's the last time a guy won 300 games while wearing a Cubs uniform? Has it ever happened?

What I forgot to say:

I'm sure there are Cub fans everywhere who saw the Clemens news and gave out a collective "aww fuck." Not me. Why? Simple: I remember just how intense and exciting the Wood v. Clemens matchup was last year.

Imagine now, if you would, an entire season of Wood/Prior v. Clemens. What we thought was a once in a lifetime deal might now be something we see two or three more times - that in itself is worth the admission.

Speaking of fantasy leagues I'm playing in a bizarre league called the Tolkien League - anyone familiar with BOSI format baseball? There are a lot of leagues out there that incorporate MLB players - it's always interesting to see how the Cubs are doing in those leagues. (See:
The Ted Williams Baseball League and
The National Baseball Simulation League as two examples.)

I play in the Tolkein league - for those of you familiar with the stories (and at this point, who isn't?) there are plenty of locations to own a team. My team is the Old Forest Merry Fellows. I started them out fashioned like the Cubs in a sense, so naturally they went 49-113 the first year. Last year they improved 20 games, and this past off season I changed strategies and fashioned them Met or Yankee style - I bought myself the best hitters and pitchers on the market.

It's an ultimately geeky thing to do, but also a surprising amount of fun. My three top pitchers next year are Tavus Legithraviel, Boriam Celebrin, and Ligor Fistslammer. They are all K kings - Celebrin is a 22 year old phenom who struck out 301 last year, Legithraviel is 27 and struck out 255, and Fistslammer struck out 308. Basically just imagine that Curt Schilling and Pedro Martinez hooked up with Kerry Wood and that's what I have.

Of course they'll almost certainly flop, but hey, it's a fun league. Here's the link:
Solonor's Groovy Computer Baseball League

Poukeston (Pukes-ton) gets a Rocket

The NL Central just got a lot more interesting, and the Cubs chances of winning the central in '04 just got a little worse, as Roger Clemens has signed a perks-loaded one year $5 million dollar deal with the Assbros. Meanwhile in unrelated news, a rash string of suicides have begun to occur in St. Louis.

Actually I don't think it's so bad. The Astros are certainly going to be a competative team, but they are also an old team with far many more vets than what the Cubs have. The only certainty is that their pitching will be strong, but what's uncertain is how healthy they'll be. However it is clear that the Cubs need to buckle down, brace their chins, and dump 5-7 million on Greg Maddux for a year or two. Here are the perks I would offer Maddux to rejoin the Cubs:

*Every day before a game all other pitchers on the team, including Wood and Prior have to say "You're the best pitcher in the game, I bow to you." (They are not actually required to bow) EDIT: Juan Cruz and Kyle Farnsworth have to bow - Cruz hasn't proven SHIT yet and Farnsworth needs to keep his dick out of Chicagoland and his mind on the field! Therefore THEY BOW.

*Maddux likes candy? Rent out one of the buildings across the street and convert it into candy store/factory that is at Greg's disposal 24-7.

*Maddux still dislikes Larry "Prick" Himes? Reassign the GM who let Maddux get away to be Greg's personal assistant. If Greg wants coffee, Larry gets it. If Greg wants to candy raid his personal store at 3am, Larry has to crawl his skanky ass out of bed and get the candies for Mad-Dog. And best of all, if at Greg's favorite Chicago bar some asshole ex-con two weeks off probation for an attempted murder charge tries to pick a fight with him, Maddux says "Larry, take care of it," and Himes has to fight the guy!

*Free porn.

*Sammy Sosa is required to carry Maddux on and off the field between innings on games in which Greg is pitching.

*Greg does have to travel with the team, but is allowed to sit in the cockpit of all flights.

*And finally, more free porn.

Mad Maddux

Had a new thought this morning on the possibility of Maddux becoming a Cub. I'm guessing that the Cubs are waiting on what happens with Clemens - if the Astros sign him, that could make them better than the Cubs and so perhaps they're waiting to bring in Maddux only as a counter measure.

For a time I was involved in a yahoo fantasy league with some of the boys over at the Coven (and if it's on this year I'd love to play again). I included my boss's girlfriend into the league who is a huge Orioles fan, and although the Sloth and Forklift may deny it, she typically kicked our asses. Then again maybe that does something for some guys. Come clean Sloth, if you were ever in that league, did you pitch a tent every time you saw that a woman was making you her bitch?

Anyway point is, I talk to her a lot so it comes as no surprise to me that the Orioles are trying to be known as the Little Yankees. Pete Angelos is almost identical to Steinbrenner of the 70's and 80's - interferring, overspending, domineering. The only problem is he's a second rate hack, so while Steinbrenner's first Total Control Phase only kept the Yankees in second or third place for most of the 80's, Angelos buried the Orioles to the bottom of their division. And no way do the Orioles win their division this year or even put up a fight - teams that try to buy pennants almost always blow it big time (see: Mets).

Meanwhile over in Ca-Ca Land the Cardinals went out and made perhaps the biggest deal of the off season. They signed Julian Tavarez (I'm sure St. Loser was filled with resounding "boo-yahs!" from fans everywhere). Tavarez is perhaps the biggest headcase homophobe I've ever seen, and it's going to be fun watching him implode in our division. Now nervous Cub fans everywhere ask, what's next for the Cardinals juggernaut? Perhaps they will add Felix "Oops" Heredia to turn their bullpen into the most superior in all of baseball? Maybe Tyler "Bean Me Angrily" Houston can be persuaded to add his big bat (and gaping asshole) to the Cardinals lineup. Hell, I'm sure if the Cardinals offered enough they could even convince the Dodgers to part with Todd "Just one more drink, God please, just one more drink" Hundley to play behind the plate.

So far the only guys who really worry me are the Astros, but a big part of their lineup is aging so they may find themselves in the same offensive situation as the Cubs were last year.

Meanwhile adding Pudge - or even Maddux - would STILL go a long way toward winning a pennant.

A couple of additional thoughts on the shitbag situation

Consider it a mathematical equation. Pete Rose=worthless, Hall of Fame=worthless, therefore Pete Rose=Hall of Fame?

There are a lot of things I don't like about the Cubs organization. I don't like how they're owned by sniveling money grubbing spendthrifts who care more about their profit margin than they do about winning. I've forgiven them, but I don't like the way they treated Maddux when he left town. I don't like how they allow Cardinals fans into a ballpark they should only be allowed to look at from afar, and I don't like how they are so lax on retiring player numbers.

Anyone care to make a list of Cubs whose numbers should be never worn again?

Sandberg might be first in line. If the Hall snubs him, the Cubs shouldn't. Fergie Jenkins shouldn't have to put up with mopes wearing his number who couldn't sniff his jock strap. Mark Grace shouldn't have to deal with failed prospects trying to wear his number either - in fact any guy ever called "Mr. Cub" should have their numbers retired, and Gracie WAS Mr. Cub of the 90's. Hell I even think Rick Suttcliffe should have his number retired - that's another rule, any pitcher who gets us within say, five or six outs of a pennant likewise is deserving. And if only because he was my favorite player and I find it insulting that the number has been delegated to backup catchers for the last six or seven years, take #8 off the block, Andre Dawson was Golden when he was a Cub.

And if only because I know my audience, although I don't know his jersey number Glenn Beckert should be in line too.

Anyone else deserving? Surely quite a few?

The Hall of Fame is a worthless shitbag (and other statements of the redundant)

Back in my idealistic days I used to fantasize about how it was possible that Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson, AND Ron Santo could make the Hall of Fame in the same year, and wouldn't that just be great for Chicago? That was before I realized that the people who vote on these things are flaming idiots.

How does the greatest second baseman of his era fail to be voted into the Hall of Fame? Sandberg and Santo especially belong in the Hall the way Paris Hilton belongs in a ho bar. It's just a natural fit. But instead, they're getting repeatedly screwed, almost as if they were Paris Hilton in a ho ba-... hmm.

I guess I'll never understand baseball. But for NEXT year, we Cub fans should organize a group of petitioners. We'll get a list of the journalists who vote, make a list of the Cubs (and other players, like Jim Rice)who we think should be in the Hall, list their accomplishments compared to the rest of the league, and then include naked pictures of The Olsen Twins by way of bribery. Or if we don't have any, substitute those pics with a cool, crisp $1 bill. That'll show 'em we're serious.

The ironic thing is that while I live in WNY, I've never been to Cooperstown. I was thinking about going this coming summer. But if they're going to snub Cub greats, maybe I'll just spend my money on a trip to Chicago.

Pete Rose is a worthless shitbag (and other statements of the obvious)

So, finally, unapologetically, Petie Rose is coming out and admitting that he bet on baseball. He is doing this basically for money.

Let's call a spade a spade. Like the sloth said. Pete Rose is an asshole, a wife beater, a greedy scumbag, and more. He is not to be trusted, and let's face it, he's only looking out for himself. I also would not shake Pete's hand. I would not invite him to my house for dinner.

That said, his accomplishments as a player warrant his entry into the Hall of Fame. Pete is not the first nor the worst asshole to ever grace the game. Ty Cobb may hold that title. I used to say that I didn't care if every player on the Cubs was a total prick so long as the Cubs won. I don't want loveable, I want winners. If Dave Kingman, Albert Belle, and Carl Everett were my outfielders, if Pete Rose and Ty Cobb were in my infield, I'd've been ok with that if they won.

That's changed. The '03 Cubs were amazing, they were talented, they were badass, and they were followable. I'm sure there are guys in the league who find Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Carlos Zambrano to be utter assholes who hit too many batters and throw inside too often. I think they're great and I'm glad they're on my team.

As for Pete Rose, I hope he never gets a job in baseball again. I'm ok with him making the Hall, but that's it. He just doesn't belong back. Scumbags like that ruin the game.

Little blips

A lot of little things going on in baseball right now, but hardly anything noteworthy.

It's Hall of Fame season and there are a lot of former Cubs eligable, many of whom I think deserve a place. They include Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson, Lee Smith, Bruce Sutter, and even Goose Gossage. It's a travesty that the Hall has overlooked these guys - especially the closers. Closers are the pitching equivilant of third basemen to Hall of Fame voters. They are overlooked, neglected, ignored, etc. Maybe the closer role is overrated, but I don't think it is. First, I think you pretty much need a good closer to compete. If you look at the 98 Cubs and 98 Cardinals, their numbers are eerily similar. They were close on offensive production, close on pitching statistics, yet the Cubs made the post season while the Cardinals watched it from home. The one big difference, however, was that the Cubs had Rod Beck, who saved what, 50 games? 52 games? The Cardinals didn't have a solid closer and blew a lot of games.

Then take a look at Smith and Gossage and you'll see that they were productive and dominant over a period of time. That's hard for any reliever, it's especially hard for a closer. Maybe it's an Atlanta syndrome but looking at John Rocker and Mark Wholers, and right there you have two closers who just mentally collapsed and hurt their careers. The closer is the one guy out there who can be considered individually responsible for a team's win or loss on any given night.

Then there's the matter of Andre Dawson. I am biased. He was my favorite player growing up. All I know is, he was a great defensive player. He played on bad knees. He was an offensive force for more than a decade. He also had speed on the basepaths. He hit more than 400 homeruns in his career, was what, a 12 time All Star? All on bad knees. I hope he gets elected, and I hope he's allowed to go in as a Cub.

Then, most important to me, is Ryne Sandberg. I know conventional thought is that he isn't, but I sincerely believe he is the greatest second baseman of all time. He was compared to Joe DiMaggio by Whitey Herzog. He has 9 Gold Gloves. Simply put, he's a great one, and he belongs. It will be a travesty if/when he is ignored again this year.